December 12, 2012 - December 5, 2012
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Watch to the end.
To the fatal snakebite that isn't.
I STOP TALKING ABOUT THE NFL? Last week, Roger Simon compared
Newt Gingrich to a warthog.
metaphor. In the best Republican debate yet, Newt prevailed once again.
His beltway enemies have struck and struck and struck. They must be
dismayed at the way he shrugs off their venom:
If you've got the
guts, the race card is a deuce.
That's the headline. The subhead is that the other three sane
candidates also turned in outstanding performances. Two or three times,
Romney ceased being a Ken doll and had the crowd going. Rick Santorum
got to talk about something other than same sex marriage. Surprise. He
had something to offer. And where was
this Rick Perry back when he
had a chance at being nominated? I can't find a clip, but he was good:
for the first time I could see him as a president. He won't be, but I
was encouraged to see four on the stage at one time who could be. (The fifth
got tangled up with a honey badger. Enough said.)
Oh well. The glass is not half empty but half full. What I saw was a
reaffirmation of capitalism, limited government. religious faith,
American values and
character, and a huge rebuff of the MSM portrayal of Republicans as
racist reactionaries. Thank you, South Carolina, and thank you, Fox
We're not as much alone in our quaint beliefs as WAPO and CNN and the
NYT and the Hollywood publicity machine would like us to be. If the
Golden Globes broadcast and its PC-oriented awards disgusted you, take
this as an
My sneaky way of bringing the conversation back to the truly important
subject of the day (and my prior post), NFL football.
I've seen Vince
Papale in person. He's real -- no Hollywood fiction. A special teams hero nobody in Philly will ever forget. What we can be.
I kid. But do
I? Maybe not. We have to keep getting up from the last hit and
making the next play. If we do, we win. It's that simple. Americans of
every stripe know in their hearts that Obama is a diva wide
receiver (never a QB -- BO=TO, dude) with no stats to back up his endlessly running mouth. He runs
for the sidelines at every whipstitch, and he doesn't have the balls to
catch a tough pass in the middle of the field. Even the MSM can't hide
these facts about him forever, and no matter how hard they try, the
people who vote will know.
Don't lose heart. Every poll that shows Obama under 50 percent in a
head-to-head matchup is an indicator of victory. The undecideds always
break big against the
incumbent. Remember that.
the LGBT liberals among you, here's the preferred "sarcastic" narration
of the clip above that makes it seem like a scene from a network
Newt's just a nasssty boy. Won't be seeing him on Fashion Police
anytime soon. More proof that there is no God. But isssn't Newt awful?
You betcha sistah. Wait for our hot hot "Honey Badguh" episode on Glee. [We're Fox, the parent company of most LGBTA propaganda, except for Matt Lauer's volunteer efforts.]
Monday, January 16, 2012
Occupy Green Bay
you can beat the invincible home team. Honest.
BEAT GIANTS. I know some of you think tomorrow is important. It
isn't. Not as
important as what happened yesterday. And I promise to explain why.
Yeah, there's another presidential primary coming up, and the result is
likely to please very few in the anti-Obama camp. We don't like the
anticipated standard-bearer much. But come August we will nominate him,
and come November we will vote for him, because the alternative is
indescribably worse. All that needs to be said about the South Carolina
On to a subject that is much more interesting and illuminating: The 9-7
New York Giants against the 15-1 Green Bay Packers. It was just a
football game but sports has always been a metaphor for deeper tides,
and while I don't want to overdraw the symbolism, it is striking enough
to draw your attention to.
New York an underdog? Really? Consider mass media treatment of the
Occupy Wall Street fiasco. It's easy to hate the New Yorkers. I'm a
Philadelphia Eagles fan, veteran of countless NFC East battles and the
bitter rivalries they've created. Yup. New York is everybody's natural villain: if they win, they bought it; if they lose, they're a laughingstock. Of course, they're going to lose. Isn't that what we mean by the term 'social justice'?
And it's so easy to sympathize with the small-town team that sits just
outside rust-belt Milwaukee, home of breweries and dead manufacturing plants whose loss has made government the chief employer of people who
cling to unions and other notions of collectivism the way Obama thinks
most of us cling to God and guns. I mean, what do the Packers really
symbolize? Green Bay is famous for the worst stock ownership plan in
history. You buy a share in the team, you get a certificate to hang on
the wall, and you never realize a cent of profit from hundreds of millions in
ticket sales, TV revenue, or merchandise revenue provided in large part
by the very same people who are supposedly owners of the team. The
Packers look like democratic capitalism, but in reality they're a religion that demands a tithe paid
only to its high pagan priests. There's even an ancient pagan God,
named Lombardi, worshipped for a degree of ruthless devotion to his own
fanatical need to dominate that recalls no one so much as... (oh, you
fill in the blank. I dare you.) This is capitalism only in the way Hugo
Chavez might define it; we control all the resources, we spend all
the profits ostensibly on your behalf, and you get to cheer us for our intangible largesse.
In any other NFL city, Bret Favre would have been exposed as a
juvenile, selfish, lecherous, contemptible sonofabitch long before he
became the icon his cultists made him. The ESPNs and other national
sports media tend to accept the myths at face value and present them as
truth. Ironically, however, the local sports press in the cities whose
political reporters are the worst streetwalkers of journalism is still
practicing the most diminished of the professions in the coverage of
their sports teams. If there's a chink in the personal armor of the
sports heroes of New York, Philadelphia, Washington, DC, Chicago, or
Los Angeles, the beat reporters and radio talkers will hunt it down,
document it, and splatter it all over the headlines.
All of which is a long-winded way of saying that I was -- and, I'm betting,
a lot of other fans -- rooting like hell for the New York Giants
yesterday. For example, I hate the Giants. I hate their choleric coach, their
habitually dirty play, their public trash talking, their self-serving
tweets, their whining when they lose, their narcissistic fascination
with their own mass media images, and, well, practically
everything about them. But when they're playing a Packer team that sits
on a town like a crown and expects to win a championship because
they're the anointed ones, obvious heirs of a tradition long expired, I
get all NFC-Easty and start relishing the controversy and scrappiness
of a team that knows what it's like to lose six in a row, to get
embarrassed, even humiliated, and then gets back off the canvas with a
confidence that amounts to fury. I know from personal experience that
that's exactly the kind of history which makes you dangerous when the
stakes are high.
I wasn't at all surprised by the Giants' demolition of the Packers.
Aaron Rodgers, the greatest quarterback in NFL history by many
accounts, never once had to come from behind to win this season. The
team barely trailed in any of its 16 regular season games, despite
having the worst defense in the NFL. If you don't know the depths, the
heights may be unavailable to you when you really need them. Even when
the refs turn your opponents' victories into defeats, it might not be
enough to overcome the deficits in your own character when the crisis
is upon you. If you've never been to the wall, the wall may crush you.
As I said, I don't want to overdo the analogy. But the home field of
Lambeau and its own uncritical mythology of its unbeatable super team
reminds me more than somewhat of the Obama administration. According to
an admiring press, it never loses, even though it ranks dead last in
the league in an indispensable aspect of the game (i.e., governing).
I do wish we had an Eli Manning on our side. But I take some comfort
from the fact that their Aaron Rodgers looked sullen, even
uninterested, on the sideline during the closing minutes, and his
post-game press conference was as graceless and self-absorbed as I'd
expect from our own
Commander-in-Chief in the event of his being tossed out of office next
year. That's what happens when you read your own excessively laudatory
press clippings and think nobody who's ever lost could possibly be as
good as you.
Green Bay. Consider it occupied.
Go Giants. Go Ravens. Go Niners. Go Patriots (No, not the NFL ones, the VOTING ones).
Who would have thought that Tebow would become a musical inspiration?
Please forward all your Tom Brady songs....
AS OPPOSED TO... NOT FUNNY:
When can we rely on Entertainment
Weekly for a thoughtful review? This
time. Word from the pollsters is, it's liberals who like the sitcoms none of the rest of us can watch. They like "sarcasm." Too bad for those of us who like funny.