Archive Listing
July 26, 2009 - July 19, 2009

Monday, July 14, 2008

LOOK AT YOU. It's tiresome and I don't want to write about it at all, but it still has to be said. The lefthand 30 percent of the political spectrum in this country is emotionally and spiritually retarded. They're the ones who celebrated the death of Tony Snow in the Los Angeles Times blog, they're the decision makers at the L.A. Times who approved such barbaric comments for publication on that blog, and they're the highly educated, meticulously responsible and objective journalists who will ignore the implications of this kind of disgraceful behavior by those who take loud credit for being the most tolerant, civilized, progressive, humanitarian, and intelligent among us. That adds up to a pretty sizeable percentage of the Obama idolaters in our nation.

This isn't about presenting a brief for Tony Snow. I knew the man only from his media appearances. That those who knew him personally regarded him as a kind, decent, and generous man is all the evidence I need for what I have to say, which has to do with the great liberal obsession about the separation of church and state. When your politics becomes your religion, your only definition of what is good and bad in the world, the separation you prize so ostentatiously is rendered meaningless. Unless you are prepared -- as all who encounter this philosophical cul de sac should, if they were honest -- to separate your own politics from all decisions of government. You are required to recuse yourself from participating in political policy decisions because of your political (i.e., religious) beliefs. You can't be trusted to participate in a rational process because your whole relation to that process is as irrational as the declarations of the most rabid cult member you've ever disdained in the sphere of religion.

That's why you so thoroughly misunderstand the Constitution and regard it as obsolete. The founders saw a necessary tension between the ideal of divine law and the inevitably imperfect adminstration of a human legal system. They counted on the former to discipline, chastise and reform the latter when it it inevitably went astray. A good example of such a divergence would be the conflation of rationally discrepant policy positions with a justification for wishing death and extreme physical suffering on mere political opponents. The founders relied on religion as a leavening influence, a transcendent mitigator of political fanaticism. The absence of this mitigating influence in sadistic lefties is proof that you are dangerous incompetents on all constitutional questions. You are American citizens by birth, but you are unworthy of the privileges carved out for you by wiser men.

There's another larger point to be made here. One that explains what many have regarded as an insoluble mystery. Why you are so quick to side against your own nation and with the funadmentalistic fanatics of Islam who are quite open about their desire to enslave your womenfolk, castrate and behead your gay mascots, and exterminate your right to disbelieve in anything divine forever. It's no mystery at all. You are two peas in a pod. For you, politics is religion. For muslims, religion is politics. The concept of any separation between church and state is as much an oxymoron for you as it is for them. That's the savage incomprehension you share which overwhelms what should be a world-splitting schism between you.

You are the same. Which is to say you've arrived at the same annihilating perspective by entirely different means. The muslims of Jew-hating jihad are historical prisoners of undeveloped consciousness. You are history's greatest historical cowards of consciousness, the ones who fearfully fled the responsibilities of individual conscience for an easy -- and false -- collective rationality that defies the logic of human nature and experience. You have chosen an anti-human evil and draped it in the hypocritical lies of rhetorical altruism.

Well, here is your prize. The reductio ad absurdem of your hateful humanism. Enjoy yourselves. It really is the truest incarnation of your philosophies.

But don't be surprised if the most of us fail to accompany you on your glorious new mission.

IRAQI FUN DAY. Even Mrs. CP was taken in by this one, which is damn hard to do. Mr. CP is too damn dumb to believe what he hears, which is the only reason he didn't fall for it: But here's the gist:


My my my. Could there ever be anything more awful than accepting an American victory in Iraq? Hard to imagine, isn't it? Including the fact that the real proof of victory is political game-playing by a democratic politician who is willing to be (almost) as ruthlessly dishonest as Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid , and Chuck Schumer just to get re-elected? Sickening. Those middle-eastern scumbags. Unless it's the proof that western democracy has taken firm root in the world's most virulent political cesspool.

I don't know about you, but I tend to view slyly dishonest Iraqi politicians somewhat less pejoratively than Americans like Reid and Pelosi. And I feel sorry for Obama. Since his learning curve about foreign affairs is still obviously incredibly steep.

Of course, now I'm going to hear about it from Mrs. CP. The good news is that she -- unlike Reid and Pelosi -- is actually smart..

Saturday, July 12, 2008

NOT SORRY. I didn't vote for George W. Bush when he ran the first time. I didn't buy the whole "compassionate conservative" thing. He was about "drugs for seniors," something about public education reform I still don't get, immigration awfulness, no nation-building, nonpartisanship, and not much else. He was never a conservative. In the early days of his administration, he even delivered the Saturday radio address in Spanish. (Yeah. I've deleted a picture of me sticking a finger down my throat and yakking at the thought of a U.S. president addressing us in Spanish.) For the record, I thought Al Gore was even worse, and nothing that's happened since convinces me that Gore is anything but a gay narcissist with too much money and time on his hands. Like you, I thought that sleeping with Laura Bush would be more tiresome than erotic (I've changed my mind about that, too), but at least George wasn't a closeted, lisping phony. It's just that I thought GWB was our second post-Cold War doofus president, part of our collective dog-shaking-after-a-bath routine of obliviously spraying the world with our un-concern after 50 years of protecting their ass from a fate worse than death. I just didn't care to participate.

I wasn't any smarter about the threat of al qaeda than Bill Clinton. Neither were you. Of course I wanted us to smack bin Laden's ass after each and every terrorist act. Especially after the attack on the U.S.S. Cole. But no more than you or anyone else did I suspect that ignoring bin Laden would lead to 9/11. I'm being honest here. Can you be?

But 9/11 happened. And our doofus president stepped up. He wasn't Lincoln or Truman, meaning that he didn't take office knowing he was looking down the barrel of a huge gun aimed at his forehead. He was a nice guy who thought he'd be fine putting in his time as another do-nothing placeholder president, which is actually the best we can ever hope for. He drew on his Texas simple-mindedness, which was an amazing attainment of character given his Andover-Yale-Harvard education, and spent the next six years kicking ass all over the world. Go figure.

Intellectuals suffer from a syndrome called "paralysis through analysis." Not GWB. He understood the schoolyard rules. Hurt one of mine and I'll go anywhere and do anything to bring the fight to you. That's what he did. He was the perfect president to deal with a lamebrain enemy who thought we weren't tough enough to stand up against a fanatical foe. That's why we went to Iraq. You struck at our heart and now we'll take out your biggest bully. See if you can stop us. Try to stop us, mother f____er. WMDs? Irrelevant. Even if they really were there.

It was actually kind of a miracle. That at the precise moment we needed a schoolyard mentality, we had one. What the liberals and progressives can never forgive Bush, or history itself, is that despite all the U.N. backing and filling and diplomacy-as-usual, Bush went into Iraq and al qaeda responded to the challenge. They sent everything they had at our cowboy president. AND WE KICKED THEIR ASS. Into the middle of the next century.

Here's the plain truth for the downtrodden Republican Party. The much bally-hooed "War on Terror," which was supposed to last for a generation, has been won in less than seven years. There remains a much greater threat -- western surrender to muslim fanaticism in cultural affairs -- but even there GWB has set a precedent that Americans will be yearning for less than a year after he leaves office. The nation that deep-down knows its citizens have the right to bear arms is not going to accept for long the idea that people who want to kill us get to hire a dream team of attorneys and vogue on bail all over Beverly Hills during their consequence-free trial. They can shut down Guantanamo, but they can't erase it from people's memories. When the shit hits the fan again, as it probably will when every terrorist can be an O.J. Simpson, people will know that there is an alternative.

All the current "legacy" talk on the cable news channels is a joke. It's a Clinton leftover. The MSM spent a year pondering Bill's legacy because he was the late twentieth century version of Chester A. Arthur, Benjamin Harrison, and Millard Fillmore. They were trying, unsuccessfully, to answer the question, "Why have we spent so much time lionizing and defending a man who did almost nothing during his eight years in office?"

The legacy of George W. Bush is already secure. It doesn't need a tidal wave of PR spin. Sometime after he goes home -- whether Obama or McCain is elected -- the American people will begin to miss him. Like Lincoln, he has his "one thing" that will endear him to the ages. He did not go gentle into that good night. He roared back at a world that thought the U.S. was like France in 1940, a lamb ripe for the slaughter. And while his enemies at home mocked and derided him, even the Old World remade itself in his image. France, Germany, Italy, and Canada all rejected anti-American governments in favor of "reactionaries" who remember how much the western "free" world owes to the United States. Al qaeda in Iraq is a dead man. Bin Laden, dead or alive, is an irrelevancy on the world stage, reviled by even his closest allies. Iran is so nervous about American "cowboy" foreign policy that it's trying to conduct international negotiations via Photoshop.

But the Republican Party is embarrassed and ashamed of the president who made all this happen:


Who are these guys? No wonder the party faithful are pissed off. Our dunderhead president turned out to be a great president. And even I, who didn't like the platform he was elected on in 2000, have to admit that he did exactly what he said he would do. I didn't vote for him then. So why all the buyer's remorse from those who did?

McCain can be as scornful of GWB as he likes. Obama can be as hateful as he likes. But George W. Bush was more of a man than either of them has yet shown he can be. And don't ever ever tell me he hasn't paid the highest possible price for the FDNY badge he still carries in his pocket. Here's what we do to our wartime presidents. In just four years. In case you haven't figuured it out yet, the Republicans are a shameful, disgusting disgrace.



Take a look up top. Now tell me that all the Bush haters know what he's been through. When they do, I have a message for them. It begins with 'F' and ends with 'U.'

Happy Birthday, Mr. President. I really really hope the whole country isn't demanding your return in another 365 days. But I fear they might.

Oh. And McCain? Grow the hell up. Display your sense of "honor" by acknowledging your debt to a president you'd be incredibly lucky to equal in terms of courage and tenacity.

Friday, July 11, 2008

DEJA VU. Living in New Jersey isn't bad enough. On top of that you get your TV news from Philadelphia. Most of you outlanders probably don't know what a sordid sleazy soap opera that's become.  Here's what we're getting these days in the City of Brotherly Love:


I once lived in Dayton, Ohio, where the weatherman was always right and the Big Story of the day was yet another one-car accident on Route 70. The next story was usually about a sale on snowblowers. Ah, Dayton. It rings a deep Philadelphia bell. But you'll have to do some work to make it ring for you...

What's really disturbing is that most people in Philadelphia aren't what you'd call good looking. In fact, being beautiful in Philadelphia can get you into a whole heap of trouble. Sad but true. This whole NBC10 grungefest got started with an anchor named Alycia Lane whose appearance pinned the needle on the looks meter of local Philly news programming.


She never did seem at home in the city of cheese steaks and the Wing Bowl. And apparently she wasn't. Pathetically, Alycia's become a kickball for the disgusting creeps at TMZ.com. Yeah, we know she probably deserved to lose her job for her freakout in NYC. But the comet tail of follow-on garbage seems excessive. Who wants to hear about Larry Mendte digging through her emails or the ancillary crimes uncovered by FBI clerks sniffing in her wake? But that's how things things go in a city where absolutely everybody hates everybody else for every reason under the sun.

No wonder the only person worth admiring in Philadelphia history since Benjamin Franklin is Mike Schmidt

Don't know who he is? Well, then, shame on you, too. The greatest third baseman in the history of baseball. Alycia would probably have gone after him, maybe even stalked him, but he's as upright as Aeneas. He still doesn't know what a superstar he was. (Dayton.) Maybe she'll find someone worth hooking up with at Channel in Butte, Montana. Can't say the same for Larry Mendte or Vince Dementri. Wherever they go, they'll never find redemption unless they take Howard Eskin with them.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

WE HAVE A LONG LONG TIME. We just love the guy. Never figured everybody else would have so much trouble figuring out that he's a Chicago Irish politician, just like all the Daleys. Say what you have to. Say what they want to hear. Say anything. But never stop dancing. The world has long needed an heir to Teddy Kennedy, a younger master of the art of beiing rich and well connected while condemning everyone who does actual work.

Now we have him. Aren't you happy? I know I am. There's nothing better in life than being lectured about how we're supposed to be by people who have never accomplished a damn thing but getting elected to the public trough.

Yeah, take a look at the graphic above. It's not really a joke. O'Bama will dance to any tune they play until you elect him. Then he'll kick your butt all the way to Stalinism. Same steps. Slightly different music.

But I'm sure a very few of you also like Shostakovich. He'll make a poignant soundtrack for the decline and ruin of man. And O'Bama will turn it into a jig on our graves if I'm any judge. Cause he can DANCE!

THE HORROR. Creepy. But apparently true.


Thank God nobody was killed.

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