Archive Listing February 15, 2009 - February 8, 2009
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There's a slaughter rule for newens here at InstaPunk. After calling
down the wrath of God, then calling down the wrath of everyone left w/
taste and tact not 2 weeks later, I got busted down to the remedial
class. In the basement. For my "protection." This would have been a
brief probation, but I tried to diffuse The Boss's displeasure with a
jocular "N_____ please." Easily the worst idea I've ever had. [IP: Not
quite. He followed
it up with an A____________ please.]
That got me kicked off the politics beat, to boot. Now I'm relegated to
Page 6 gossip; panning for gold dust in muddy creeks like this:
Because I couldn't see the significance of something so obvious as the
Presidential election, I have to spin gold out of this?
Since I couldn't find a dollar in a bucket of sand, The Boss makes me
look for a penny in the grain silo of the Britney story? That's like
expelling a kid for truancy.
Deep breath. As an only child, I keep thinking complaining is going to
get me somewhere. Not this time. Time to grit my teeth, clench my face
like a fist, and CHARGE:
Pop singer
Britney Spears has failed to regain access to her two young sons
following a closed-door court hearing.
Spears, who was recently admitted to
hospital for psychiatric
evaluation, was barred from visiting her sons last January after
she
refused to hand the children back to their father Kevin Federline, who
currently has primary custody of the boys.
Los Angeles Superior Court spokesman Alan
Parachini told reporters
after yesterday's hearing that there had been no change in the orders
handed out by the family judge who last month stripped Spears of her
visitation rights.
The Dr. Drew quote is from last month, and is therefore too old to be
relevant, but I think it is anyway. Everyone is focused on the inanity
of the circus of attention that she and the rest of the Valtrex
Pack
command. Even InstaPunk.
We don't think to think of her as a person. Not that we think of her as
NOT a person, mind you. We just don't take the time to put into mind
that no human being can be JUST a lame story we've heard ad nauseum.
But Dr. Drew has. As an addiction medicine specialist who's treated
thousands of patients (that's in person, not counting the radio show),
he knows drug abuse when he sees it. Me, I give the standard
exasperated "so what?" when I see the latest Britney headline, every
time, as if
that's a new observation. He chose to look at her with the
eyes of a medical care professional, as if she were a person and not
just a constant drain on media usefulness. He's seen logical
implications of a situation we all took as meriting no further
attention.
That's a habit we'd all do well to cultivate.
(To be fair to The Boss, he's done that with things more
important.)
I'd like to think the judge who refused the gag order understands that
we're all, to enough degree that it matters, complicit in Britney's
tailspin. "We didn't hold her down and shove pills in her mouth and do
that throat-rubbing thing to make her swallow," you say. True. We're
not responsible for her. Not even in the way we'd be responsible for,
say, a friendly but sporadic acquaintance w/ a drinking problem. But
all those paparazzi aren't some privately commissioned army of
harassment, are they? You know why they make money, and why there's so
many of them.

Come on. It's great fun to see the
mighty fall and everything, but look at her. Even if this were Ken
Lay's widow, it'd be dubious to enjoy watching someone die like this.
Let alone some pop mascot whose greatest crime against all of us was
recording dull music.
We don't have to save her. We do have to wish her well, and mean it.
Yes, have to.
P.S.
Don't trip over each other to bring this
up. I get it. Good work.
P.P.S.
How was that, Boss? Can I maybe come out of these stocks now, Boss?
Boss?
BOSS TO BRIZONI: Yes. Instapunk
is always right, but even heroes
have their weak moments. Apparently, you're not the only one who's been
tempted to play gruesome mind games. You also act as if Instapunk has
never (un)covered Britney. Untrue.
Dominus noster Kobra te absolvat.
Get back to work on the stuff you
care about, newen.

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It may seem like it will be mostly clear sailing from here on in
for Obama, but a few factors that are supposed to be plusses for him
may turn out to be less so in the general election. I'm not going to do
a detailed analysis here, just point out a few things that could become
troublesome down the road if he isn't careful.
1. It's been almost too easy for him
thus far. The MSM has been cheering him on the whole way, and in
the Battle of Teflon between Obama and the Clintons, it was the
Clintons who discovered that their miraculous non-stick
surface was finally beginning to wear through to the bare metal. Obama's
starting to look and sound as if he's invulnerable. But pride goeth
before a fall, and his 45-minute primary victory address last night
seemed self-indulgent at best ("He's still talking...") and, at
worst, cocky. A lot of Americans
don't much like cockiness in their politicians.
2. About all that speechifying...
High-flown oratory can be refreshing on occasion, but it gets old. Bill
Clinton almost ended his national political career before it had even
begun with his endless speech at the 1988 Democratic National
Convention. And Clinton's flavor of windiness is nevertheless more
bearable over the long term because it is earnest and plainspoken,
while Obama's is more formal, a bit mannered, and far more evocative of
the church pulpit than the "bully" one. The true believers on
the campaign trail may like being preached at, but it's a pretty good
bet that most Americans don't. All that hyperbole of Obama as a savior or
messiah isn't going to sell in the long run. He'd better understand
that even if his more ardent fans don't.
3. Race is a three-edged sword. The first
two edges have been abundantly noted and commented on. Yes, there are
Americans who still aren't ready for a black president, though not
nearly as many as the paranoids in the liberal media feared. There is
also a deadly danger to anyone who makes a charge or even an
observation about Obama that might conceivably be interpreted as
suggestiive of racial prejudice. The third edge is concealed between
the bright lines of the first two. As I've noted before, America may
well be ready for a black president, but they're not ready for a
president who is black
first and American second. That's the real
explosiveness of Michelle Obama's twice repeated statement that she is
"proud of America for the first time in her adult life." Worse than any
public contentiousness about this remark would be the typical liberal
first retort, which is that she's entitled to such feelings because
she's an African-American woman, and we just don't know what all she's
been through. We do know at least part of what she's been through,
namely Princeton and Harvard Law School, and race aside, we don't like
being told that a candidate for national leadership -- or his wife --
has an inherent right to look down on the rest of us, so shut up. (See the first vid clip below.) If
every gaffe or unpleasantness committed by the Obamas on the campaign
trail is going to be shushed up or suppressed to spare their racial
sensitivities, resentment is bound to grow like mushrooms in the dark.
If that's the strategy, the third edge will cost Obama the election.
4. Hope has its dark side, too.
The liberal spin is that all those speeches about Hope are the kind of
positive and optimistic approach Americans seem to favor in their
presidential candidates. But underneath
the glowing rhetorical surface
of his words, Obama is really playing a political hand straight out of
the failed John Edwards campaign: there are
two Americas, and if you're in the America that didn't go to Princeton
and Harvard, you're shit out of luck unless the Princeton and Harvard
folks in the federal government stoop all the way down from their
thrones on Capitol Hill to bail you out of your misery. That's actually
a pretty negative picture and a pretty condescending political
platform. Obama's gotten away with it so far based on the convenient
fact that he has no record to speak of and that he has sedulously
avoided getting too specific about just who it is that's so damned
miserable and worthless they need the government to pick them up, dust
them off, and pat them on the rump until tears turn to smiles. It's a
perilous circumstance for Obama that middle class Americans are
prepared to believe lots and lots of people don't have it so good, but
they're the exception (see the second vid clip below). If they figure out they really are the ones
Obama considers weak losers, they might not take his compassion so
kindly.
5. First Ladies are second bananas.
Still. Multiple commentators have noted the irony that Michelle
Obama, who is on record as saying she's not sure she could support
Hillary if Obama loses the nomination, is acting an awful lot like
Hillary in 1992: controversial, self-important, and disconcertingly
unpredictable. Whatever feminists yearn for in their dreams, the job
the wives of presidential candidates are applying for is to be the
first hostess and full-time cheerleader for the nation. A lot of
Hillary's almost cripplingly high personal negatives are derived
directly from her hubris as First Lady. Teresa
Heinz-Kerry may not
have cost her husband the election in 2004, but she damn sure didn't do
him any good. Michelle had better learn her place -- not in the racial but the political
sense of that term -- as an unelected
tag-along whose responsibilities are real but mostly symbolic. The
biggest responsibility of the First Lady is to do
no harm. Sadly,
relatively few of them have met even this low standard.
Now, since it's also YouTube Wednesday, here are some vids related one
way or another to the points made above.
And a final one (h/t Ace of Spades), just to remind everyone that we're
not pretending to
be completely objective here, about Obama or anyone else.
Enjoy the rest of your day.



. Hillary
Clinton campaign operatives are denying there's any truth to the
stories that any kind of vote-fixing or election fraud was involved in
the odd
circumstances surrounding the Super Tuesday primary in Ms.
Clinton's home state:
Neither of the Clintons could be reached for comment. Reportedly, they
were meeting with the 796 superdelegates to the Democratic Convention,
who announced earlier this morning that they would all be casting their
ballots for Senator Clinton in every round of floor voting at the
convention. When they were asked what had suddenly decided them to
commit their support so completely all at the same time, they all said
they "could not recall" what had made up their minds.
In a separate and equally surprising development, binding pre-entry
polls (a recently imposed party regulation) of Democrat voters in
Ohio, Texas, and Pennsylvania revealed that Senator Clinton will win
these key primary states unanimously. Poll responses also indicate that
the voters in these states "have no recollection" of what factors
influenced their decision.

Senator Barack Obama's campaign manager, who had recently spoken with
Bill Clinton by phone, indicated that he "accepted the will of the
voters," although he was, of course, "saddened" by the sudden end of
his candidate's prospects for the nomination. He said he had "no
memory at this time" of exactly what he had discussed with former President Clinton
in their phone conversation. "I'm sure it was just the usual political
chit-chat," he said.
DNC Chairman Howard Dean expressed his "great relief" that the tightly
contested nomination race was now concluded."I'm absolutely certain
that the party will unite behind our excellent candidate," he said.
"It's time to bury the past -- and keep it buried as long as
all the various statutes of limitations are in force." Actually
he never said that last part, according to the DNC spokesgirl, who
should know, because look at her.

So that's pretty much it for the campaign. Until it's time to destroy
McCain in the fall, of course. We'll be back at you then.
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The Danger of Guns - Sometime ago, we suggested what Dr. Stenger should do at the time of the shooting at Virginia Tech University. Because it was so poorly received and we were told it was in bad taste, we're not going to suggest this course of action in the current case of the shootings at Northern Illinois University -- although we probably should. Well, now, the kids are getting concerned that maybe the adults are completely insane in their approach to campus security and they've started a little organization, Students for Concealed Carry on Campus. They boast a 12,000 member group with nationwide representation. We would like to applaud and encourage them. Unfortunately you can't even get a permit to carry a concealed weapon in Illinois. Wonder why Steven Kazmierczak was carrying one -- and a shotgun? Good luck out there kids. You should probably join the group and take action to secure your own security. Evidently, all you're going to get from your government is a sign. |