November 3, 2008 - October 27, 2008
Rachel Lucas, the insouciant Eloise
of bloggers, has nominated her dog Sunny for President. Sunny
is a Rhodesian Ridgeback and has quite a lengthy platform reflecting
the rightwing views of her mistress. For example:
Sunny is also much more attractive than the other female candidate in
Nevertheless, we can't help feeling concerned that Sunny, especially in
light of her platform, might actually do
something as President. We believe the American people deserve more,
meaning less, than that. It's
precisely when they take actions of various sorts that Presidents get
into so much trouble. Psmith is the perfect antidote to that problem.
He has no platform except for his own mammoth deerhound posterior. He
has no ideas of any kind. If elected President of the United States, he
would serve by standing (and
sitting) there quite handsomely. He might want some gingerbread, but a
multi-trillion dollar economy like ours ought to be able to handle that.
And just imagine how soothing and reassuring it would be to the America people to know that their President is snoozing on his great big couch in the Oval Office rather than talking to people, giving orders, making speeches, signing bills, and getting dangerous folk the world over all riled up about problems nobody can really fix.
We're running Psmith (the 'p' is silent) on the Do-Nothing Party ticket, and nobody can beat his experience. He's been doing nothing with imperturbable consistency all his life. He's not even asking for your vote, because that would be doing something. You see how demanding Sunny already is by comparison?
If you want to stop that government clock and have absolutely nothing nasty ooze out of Washington, DC, to infect all our lives, VOTE PSMITH!
If you don't, we'll run Izzie the Bengal (scroll down) instead, which would be very very bad. Take our word for it.
Many of the most 'reasonable' pundits seem confident that McCain will
be able to squeak through his campaign with the Republican nomination
and then go on to unite party in the fall. They base this on the fact
that it's too late for Giuliani, Huckabee's out of money, and Romney
just hasn't closed the deal with conservative voters or the party
apparatchiks. The New York Times
has all but declared Mitt dead in the race. In a piece titled "Romney
Leads in Ill Will Among G.O.P. Candidates," political reporter Michael
However. More and more these days, NYT
headlines are not really reporting but wishful thinking. Is it
really Romney who "leads in ill will among GOP candidates"? The answer
is a decided "no." Of course, we've already seen that the Times doesn't believe in the
efficacy of surges, which probably explains why they can't seem to
understand the size and import of the surge that is presently building
against John McCain.
The redeployment of conservative troops has been underway since McCain's candidacy rose from the dead in New Hampshire, but its scale was effectively camouflaged by the diversionary squashing of Huckabee, which has been expeditiously completed. Now, with Thompson also out of the picture, the fog of war should begin to lift on the battlefield. What will be clear when the sun starts burning away the smoke is just how massively arrayed and reinforced conservative forces are against a McCain presidential nomination.
The signs should have been clear long before this. Michelle Malkin has been beating the drum for the advance all along, principally on the basis of his views on immigration. Laura Ingraham, who tends to be the most soft-spoken of the three Republican Furies, has launched a surprise attack on McCain's supposedly stellar right-to-life record. Mark Levin has mounted a devastating precision assault on McCain's "Gang of 14" judiciary judo. NRO's Andrew McCarthy and Roger Kimball of Pajamas Media have opened yet another front on the topic of McCain-Feingold and freedom of speech. The Club for Growth has battered McCain's fiscal stands and performance. Hugh Hewitt -- admittedly a Romney partisan -- has nevertheless executed a shrewd flanking maneuver on the question of McCain's outright hostility to conservatives, using the subject of ANWR to great effect. General Limbaugh has been incorporating all these lines of attack into an ideological framework that poses McCain as an unconscionable choice. The sum of the arguments is exceptionally potent even if it will take time to permeate the base. But even now, anti-McCain fever is flowing steadily downward through the layers of the blogosphere, where it will eventually reach critical mass and loose the dogs of war.
The MSM and other purveyors of Conventional Wisdom would like to dismiss all these recent deployments of anti-McCain argumentation as mere grumbling and sniping. But they're as guilty of wishful thinking -- and yes, blindness -- as the NYT piece quoted above. By and large, both sides of the aisle in the mainstream beltway establishment want McCain to be the Republican nominee.
The beltway Republicans wants him because, as usual, they've been gulled by the media into believing that the media have regard and respect for McCain and might actually treat him fairly in the general election campaign. They also believe that all his disagreements with conservatives will make him more attractive to independents. They're wrong on both counts. Recent elections have demonstrated conclusively that there are precious few "independent" voters. It's a 50-50 country, and the winner will be the party that generates the greatest turnout for its candidate. McCain is a loser on that score. Just as importantly, it's not true that the MSM will be fair to McCain in the general election.
They're just holding their fire. Which will be withering indeed. They'll harpoon him on the subject of his age, and every verbal slip will be transformed into hints about dementia, as will the outbursts of typical McCain wrath that are inevitable when the press questions him too sharply. Political reporters will suddenly remember an ancient scandal nicknamed the "Keating Five." And as McCain attempts to placate his conservative base, the MSM will brand every shift in position as a flip-flopping disproof of "straight talk." Then there's the matter of his not completely exemplary personal life, which is off limits with Democrats but fair game with those hypocritical Christian Republicans. Even his much vaunted Vietnam POW status will be used against him to raise suspicions about his mental stability.
Where the Democrat establishment is deluding itself is in failing to acknowledge the importance of the Surge. (Sound familiar?) It's going to keep building, and the more the MSM holds it fire, the more McCain's "darling" status will motivate his conservative opponents. The long-term beneficiary will be, as Hugh Hewitt likes to say about every political development, Romney. McCain is actually the best if unlikeliest incentive for the Republican base to become enthusiastic about Mitt. Which is the last thing the Democratic establishment wants.
Are you underestimating the Surge? Well, the 'Shock and Awe" phase was initiated this morning by the Queen of the Furies. Ann Coulter is now officially on the warpath. Her polemic begins thus:
You can read the rest for
yourself. It only gets harsher. As will the
conservative counterattack in the weeks and, if necessary, months ahead.
Don't say nobody warned you.
flurries of wild speculation about a photograph it released
earlier in the week, NASA
has announced that this human-shaped figure on the Martian landscape is
"not an alien" but only a trick of light and shadow. In reality it's
nothing more than a rusted transmission assembly from the ancient
Martian minivan in the foreground.
Needless to say it's a disappointing development. We'd gotten our hopes up too.
. We'd hoped
it wouldn't come to this, but it has. Here's just a selection of key
Drudge headlines today (quite similar to what they've been ever since
the first of the year):
So absolutely everything in
human affairs has gone insane, including the global arms race, the
climate, the economy, religion, international diplomacy, contagious
diseases, Bill Clinton, racial strife, and voracious nanny state social engineering.
Should we just wait pitifully for the merciful end of everything? Or
should we resort to our last-ditch defense against world-wide lunacy?
We opt for the latter. It's time for a global wave of Como-ism. You may think Perry Como was just an Italian crooner and TV star, but the truth is he was the most advanced mystic of late western civilization. He was also the Cary Grant of American music, without the five wives. He had grace. He knew how to deal with all the stress. He could reconcile responsibility and ease of mind, Christianity and cardigan sweaters, fame and fidelity. If you listen to his music -- and I mean really listen -- you'll hear a truly luminous spirit of precisely the sort we all need to persevere through the silly season we're experiencing now. Perry had political views, but he never wished a painful death by cancer on the opposition. He may even have had concerns about things like global epidemics and total nuclear war, but he never went bug-shit about it. He was, in the earliest and truest sense of the term, cool.
You probably think we're kidding. We're not. Here's an excerpt from his Wikipedia entry:
What we really need as a culture right now is an end to the Internet
string-jokes about how murderously tough Jack Bauer and Chuck Norris
are, and a
replacement obsession with just how cool and enlightened Perry Como was.
But it all begins with a simple first step. Whatever your musical preferences, put them aside long enough to get the feel of Perry Como. It's more than music. Yes, he had enormous talent as a light tenor, but his singing is also creating a philosophical atmosphere you can't begin to appreciate without taking a deep breath, leaning back in your chair, and letting go of all the tension and angst you carry with you from day to day and minute to minute.
We're going to give you a couple of YouTube clips to get you started, but the real healing will begin when you dig into his discography and procure the albums that will enable you, through repeated listening, finally, to quit being so goddamned pissed-off about everything. We call that attaining Comotude. Step One:
Step Two. Just his voice. (YouTube is predictably weak on Perry.) Use
this clip to practice your breathing, leaning back, relaxing, not
taking things so damn f___ing seriously. We really can get through all
Step 3. Go to the discography
and start saving your soul.
P.S. He's no longer with us now, obviously, but do yourself a favor and remember him while you listen to his recording of "O Holy Night." You'll feel better for it. We promise.
. Does anybody care what the smart folks at Oxford think? For
example, maybe contemporary philosophers have something to offer about
resolving the many complex conflicts of our age. The politicians don't
seem to be making much headway, which is why people are still so
continuously undecided about which particular boob we want to trust the
whole ball of wax to. As it happens, there is an Oxford philosopher who thinks
he know what we should be most worried about. Here's the title page:
And here's the conclusion
at the end of what is demonstrably a very serious academic article:
And my conclusion is that if
this is the case, then I'm not comfortable with having Hillary deal
with it, or Obama, or McCain, or anyone else still in the race. I
suppose we could resurrect the defunct campaign of Dennis Kucinich, but
it seems risky. He might already know about the simulation and has been
covering it up. That's just how he strikes me.
If we're actually living the premise of a popular science-fiction movie, it's time to consider nominating Neo. So what if he's fictional. For all we really know about the existing candidates, they could be fictional too. Not to mention us.
Think about it. I can't. It makes my head hurt.
. Only one clip today. It should suffice. Yes, it's
2008 and if you've even glanced at Drudge, you know all hell is
(supposed to be) breaking loose. The stock market is crashing -- or at
least having a nasty fender-bender. Russian tyrant Vladimir Putin is
launching missiles into the Atlantic Ocean to prove what a, er, man he
is. The Palestinians' most accomplished criminals have breached
the Gaza Wall to spread more death and destruction. The Secretary of State is off
somewere in La-La Land offering new olive branches to North Korea and
Iran because they chewed up and ate the old ones. The doddering
dinosaurs of NATO are muttering darkly about the
need for the U.S. and Europe to use nuclear weapons preemptively before
our appeasement of North Korea and Iran becomes fatal to the west.
Inside our own borders, open
war is breaking out in Los Angeles between blacks and Latinos even
though the leaders of neither major U.S. party think we have a big
immigration problem, or at least not a problem big enough to risk
losing all those Latino votes by solving it.
Meanwhile, the two Democratic candidates for President are having hissyfits with each other about who can spend more money on socialized healthcare and who can do the best job of ignoring all the crises in foreign affairs that can't be handled by rehashing four-year-old decisions. In the ever escalating competition to pander to voters, their Republican counterparts are all lying about how they can fix global, structural economic problems by sending a check (or IOU) to you and your Aunt Tillie. Despite or perhaps because of all this, the Global Warming fanatics have been staging demonstrations in the midst of driving snow storms to demand greater totalitarian control over free economies and our personal liberties. If all the bad guys get their way, the future really will be a frightful monster.
We are going to need bigger guns.