Archive Listing July 27, 2008 - July 20, 2008
|

. It's so
easy to be a conservative who disapproves of Ann Coulter.
In fact, it's almost required. It's how conservatives of a certain
stripe try to prove they're as civilized as their liberal friends.
Some have other motives. Mrs. IP can't stand her, even though Mrs. IP
makes Coulter look like a wimp on many matters of public policy.
For example, Coulter -- to my knowledge, at least -- has never been in
favor of killing all the muslims just because. Mrs. IP dislikes the
Hated One because she's a bit loose with her research and seems to
enjoy appearing on TV with her avowed enemies too much. Those are valid
criticisms. But they're not sufficient for people -- myself included --
who pay close attention to politics on a daily basis and know what's
going on in the mainstream media.
Here's the bottom line. If you claim to be a conservative, the only
position you can take with regard to Ann Coulter is as a cheerleader.
Why? Two reasons.
First, because she's a natural lightning rod. Every single time the
lefties accuse conservatives of of being heartless and mean, their first
citation is of Ann Coulter -- because there's no other they can cite. Their constant repetitions of the same old crap prove how threadbare their case is. "She wanted the 9/11 terrorists to blow up
the New York Times Building." (Cool.) "She called John Edwards a fag." (Accurate.) "She had
the nerve to diss cancer-stricken Elizabeth Edwards when that great
lady confronted her about scorning John Edwards." (Poor boy.) What an awful bitch.
Except that she's not. She's just a counter-puncher with an
honest-to-God sense of humor. The best one we have. Conservatives have
become sissies. Hit them and they bleed. Ask them who hit them and they
can never remember the numbers on the license plate or even what state
the offending vehicle came from. Kansas State is perpetually cowed by a
hit-and-run driver from Harvard. If that were just an anecdote, it
wouldn't be a problem.
It isn't just an anecdote. All the Republicans are
from Kansas State. They never have the guts to accuse Democrats of
anything. They continue with the "my great friend from Massachusetts"
shtick while their "great friend from Massachusetts" accuses them of
everything under the sun, including illegal earmarks just like the
illegal earmarks senators from Massachusetts live on. Coulter's
willingness to whomp on this kind of bullshit gets her pilloried on a regular basis. And
it deflects the abuse conservatives
would receive if they admitted that John Edwards is a callow, empty suit
and Hillary is a cold-hearted castrating cunt.
Second, because the libs are right. Coulter is a killer, Clint Eastwood in a skirt. She has the guts to say what
most conservatives won't. She's a good attorney and a smart woman.
She's posed questions no one else will. (No one but us, that is.) Why
did we ever give women the vote? It's been downhill for freedom and
limited government ever since. Why do we insist on pretending that America-hating
traitors like Schumer, Kennedy, Reid, and Pelosi have to be regarded as
patriots when they're clearly our enemies? Their dearest desire is for
the United States to lose the
war we're fighting. Why aren't we supposed to notice that or call it
what it is? Treason. I hate to say it but Mrs. IP is wrong for once. Coulter enjoys taking the heat for speaking
the truth. That's why the lefties hate her so much.
Yeah, it is impolite to call traitors treasonous. Real
democracy is all about pretending that traitors are mostly patriots,
just coming at the great issues of the day from a whole different
perspective. Right.
Here's what all real conservatives know. Coulter says what most of us think. She's mild and incredibly
diplomatic in what she says. All the outrage conservatives express
about her is
nothing more than the guilty fear of the politically correct and the
politically frightened. Coulter uses humor to blunt the ferocity of her disdain,
not to exacerbate it. Like every other conservative who actually cares
about whether the United States survives or not, she speaks her piece
because she has to, not because she's trying to make a buck. Every day,
she moderates her language and selects humor over pure rage because
she's decided that pure rage is counter-productive.
Right now, though, I'm thinking she might be wrong. Yeah, I agree she
should brush up on her research. Her LEXIS/NEXIS searches are suspect.
And maybe she's getting too long in
the tooth for incredibly short pencil skirts. (A lot of us men, believe it or not, are more
interested in what's inside her head than what's up her skirt...) But
her female intuition is dead on the money. Maybe she should prefer
charges instead of jokes. She does still have a law degree, doesn't
she? If she started using it again, that
would be fun.
Do you have the balls to stand with her and defend her? I thought not.
Pussies.
UPDATE.
So, today, a Nobel Peace Prize Winner said she wished she could kill
George W. Bush. She's Irish,
of course. Actually, I don't mind that she's a pagan savage. What's one
more ruthless killer bitch in the mix? Nothing. It's just that if you
were to cite her as an example of the fact that lefty 'pacifists' can't
ever seem to stop talking
about murdering, raping, and castrating their political opponents, the
usual chorus of lefty bloggers would instantaneously sit up on their
hind legs and recite all the terrible things Ann Coulter has said. This
seems like a good place to point that out. And the fact that Coulter has
never claimed to be a pacifist. As far as I know, she's pretty
thoroughly in favor of killing. Especially phony pacifists.
Me too.
Please send money:
. I don't
know why this is, but both my parents spent their whole lives turning
their back on their Scottish roots. They said they were Americans and
so didn't need to afflict themselves with horrific bagpipe music. They
claimed they were happy to be part of the great American melting pot.
From my perspective, though, they weren't Americans so much as
Anglophiles who lived in America. More than half Scottish, they were
nevertheless Church of England and raised me that way, even though the
family mythology was that we had come here in the first place as
fugitives from the last gasp of Scottish nobility who had supported
Bonnie Prince Charlie. The last Scottish "Catholic Pretender" to the
throne of England. Well. I've always taken some comfort from the
ongoing negotiations between the Church of England (C of E) and the
Papist Autocrats of the Vatican (PA of V) for the purpose of healing
the great divide. Imagine my shock when the Pope announced yesterday
that Vatican II was just kidding.
There is only one church and its name is RC. Like the cola, but without
quite as cool a bottle.
Apparently the time has come for us Scottish-Americans to abandon the
whole stupid melting-pot idea and start demanding our proper place in
the diversity-sphere of the newly balkanized American 'mosaic.' In the
past this site was just a bunch of ill-mannered punks who offended all
and sundry because we didn't know how to be polite to our intellectual
and cultural superiors. From this day forward, we're Scottish-Americans
who offend all and sundry because that's our hard-won cultural tradion.
What's more, we're issuing a demand for money. For two reasons. First,
because we're owed reparations for all the awful abuse Scots have taken
from the other ethich groups who claim we can't think, write, dance,
play sports, laugh, or otherwise participate in civilized society. And
second, because we've now remembered that we're Scots, and we like
money a great deal.
We are facing something of a
technical glitch. Our webmaster is Irish, which means he won't like our
new assertion of ethnic identity. Worse than that, he's defintely a
papist, and it's possible that he'll sabotage the PayPal algorithm to
direct any funds we receive directly into the hands of the savage
Hibernian terrorists who want to blow the British mainland, including
Scotland, into oblivion. I can't remember how the incredibly costly
Scottish resistance against he English mongrel pagans has hurt the
cowardly Irish in any way, other than freeing them from military
service for a thousand years or so, but I've never been very good at
keeping track of the irrational grudges of potato eaters who think
whiskey should be sweeter than RC Cola. Anyway, my protestant side
forces me to warn all of you to contribute "at your own risk."
The good news is that the unpleasant side of this post is completed.
All that's left is reminding all the other hyphenated Americans of the
brilliant contributions Scots have made to civilized, and even
American, culture. I'm not even going to mention the steam engine. Or
capitalism. Or all the ways Scots actually invented the systems and
technologies that have made modern life possible. Instead, I'm going to
dwell on the only things contemporary Americans value: entertainment
and, well, entertainment.
For example, the world would be a poorer place without Scots to make
fun of. Who else can Americans laugh at anymore? What other ethnic
group is willing to be made fun of without filing a single lawsuit or
sending some damned Irish mackerel-snapper onto Fox News to complain
about anti-Catholic bias? Not that the Irish are the only other ethnic
group. There are some others, but they're all equally stupid and
annoying, as many Americans have learned from the mostly unfunny show
called The Simpsons.
What I'm saying is, what other group would sit still for the kind of
ridicule we Scots have accepted in pieces like this sorry-ass spoof of Star Trek? What none
of you can know or empathize with is how much discriminatory nonsense
like this hurts Scottish-Americans -- because we don't have any more
idea what the actors are saying than you do. Our fear is that it's just
utterly awful. Or not that funny. Take your pick.
We know that our ancestral way of speaking isn't wuite as euphonious as
some others. It doesn't mean we're not artistically gifted. We are.
It's only because of decades of discrimination that Scottish literary
feats don't get as much attention as the so called poetry of lesser
peoples. Let's face it. The French always get a
free ride, and the damn Germans think poetry
is about browbeating everyone else into believing it. But what
fair-minded person could think that the English, the Irish, the Welsh, and even the Americans are better
at using our common language than the Scots? It defies
belief. And unlike many of those others, like, say, the Welsh, we also
do plays.
There's no question that Scotland has failed at the propaganda game.
The English have a whole channel, BBC
Antiamerica, devoted to convincing Americans that they hate America
as much as the best educated Americans do. Ireland has a charming
little weekly show on PBS called "Ireland Hates
America, Too," presided over by an arch leprechaun
of
woman who lives in a New York City penthouse and knows exactly what to
say in her all-too-decipherable brogue. Scotland has only a pitiful
little PBS scrapbook of a show called "TartanTV ,"
which offers informational nuggets such as the fact that all supposed
Scottish tartans are basically 19th-century English forgeries, like all
Americans who consider themselves descended from notable Scottish
clans. Probably true,
but not exactly a PR bonanza.
If you're going to appreciate Scotland as a diversely wonderful part of
the Old World, you have to look beyond PBS. Here, for example, is a Scottish Tour you
just won't get on the mainstream channels. Looking deeper, you can also
find examples of the kind of judgment that
enabled Scotland to lead the Industrial Revolution into the modern era.
Which doesn't mean
that Scots haven't also been in the vanguard of modern etiquette.
Did you forget that we Scots also created the greatest sport yet
invented? This
will remind of that fact, and provide you a rare glimpse of the only
known instance in media history when Robin Williams was actually funny.
Only Scots can precipitate such unlikely events.
How can we do that? Because we have such a keen sense of comedy
ourselves. We're even prepared to pretend that female comedians can
be funny. It's not easy, but we do it. Because we're fiercely
determined to. It helps that we can't understand a word they're
saying either.
Incomprehensibility is a big part of our whole culture. Like our
history. You probably thrilled to Braveheart as much
as anyone else. And understood it pretty much the same way we did.
Actually, understanding isn't the point. Does anyone understand dance?
Yet the world has long bowed to the beauty of classical dance.
And modern dance.
And American
dance. Some of you -- oddly -- even think the Irish do something
like dance. Well, if you like that fey elven sheep-jumping crap, give
yourself a chance to appreciate the kind of stomping around that Scots call dance. Once you've had
enough real whiskey, it's far
superior. You'll
even want to join in.
Of course, the real mark of an advanced culture is music. The way the
media are in America, you'd be excused for thinking that all kinds
of countries have been better at music than the Scots. It's not true.
The Italians get a lot of credit for sentimental crap like this. Who knows why
people listen to French pap like this? Pure
barbarians like the Poles,
Germans, and Austrians are
ridiculously overpraised just because their music is beautiful and
intellectual at the samw time. Big deal. The English have never had any
music of
any kind, which should give you a hint about the musical capabilities
of the Welsh and
the Irish, too.
It's almost a miracle -- given the pitiful record of Celts in general
-- that the Scots have been able to produce the greatest music in the
whole history of western civilization. But we have.
It's always at a price, though. Whenever Scots make a huge
contribution, they're required to die for it. Explain
that to us.
Better yet, give us some money. At least until the postal money order
we're expecting any day now arrives. Is that too much to ask?

. It's not
news by now that the worldwide Live Earth concerts were a bust.
It's not all that surprising either. Global Warming has to be the
dullest crisis ever, championed by the dullest demagogue ever. The
closest I came to watching it was sitting through the first half of a
rerun of the South Park Manbearpig episode last night.
When I chanced this morning to hear an audio clip of Al Gore's pledge
speech (seven points!) at one of the concerts, he sounded exactly like
the fruity
illiterate Stan and Kyle were trying to avoid.
What's really odd is that I think the South Park boys were actually on
to something with Manbearpig. The obvious absurdity masks a subtler but
nevertheless quite real absurdity. And mask is the right word. The mask of
Global Warming is science, but the underlying passion that's driving it
is paganism. Manbearpig is a classic pagan god, two parts animal, one
part human, adding up to an archaic godhead. And Global Warming is
really an outgrowth of a pagan yearning. How else is it that this
cobbled-together -- and remotely consequential -- theory has
become part of a
cluster of 'progressive' causes that most notably include gay rights,
hard-line feminist rejection of 'the patriarchy' (excepting Islam, of
course), anti-Christian campaigns that are disingenuously positioned as
expressions of secularism and humanism, extreme sexual libertarianism,
an obsessive focus on health and nutrition as if they were morality,
and an irrational Luddite condemnation of all things technological
(excepting cell phones, the internet, and MP3 players)?
Would the scientists who think their rationalism is saving the planet
from mankind's baser instincts be happy to know that their most ardent
followers are the same people who wear crystals, read auras, channel
ancient eastern spirits, dance Wiccan spells naked under the full moon,
and perform imaginary Druid ceremonies at Stonehenge during the
solstices? Or that some of their most vocal fellow travellers are
defying the imperatives of evolution by engaging in non-reproductive
sexual activities which have been scientifically proven (more than
Global Warming, anyway) to reduce their chances of survival by 30 to 60
percent?
What's going on here isn't an enlightened transformation of medieval
superstition (Christianity) into rational planetary consciousness
(green progressivism). It's an act of reversion to pre-conscious
paganism -- a violent divorce of theology from morality, a sundering
whose ultimate purpose is 180 degrees antithetical to science. Why?
Because the opposite of science is magic, which is based on the notion
that purely symbolic actions can have an impact on matter at a
distance, without physical contact or logical cause and effect. What's
the difference? The cultures of antiquity (including the increasingly
self-righteous native peoples of North, Central, and South America)
employed human sacrifice as an act of magic, a brutal and bloody
transaction that had to be repeated every time Gaia or Quetzalcoatl
seemed to be punishing the earth. Christians elevated sacrifice to a
divine concept, one that was performed once, to perfection, and so
needed never to be performed again except in symbolic form. Because its
purpose was not to slake the appetites of a vicious nature god like the
sun or the storm, but to imbue the human spirit with an internal sense
of right and wrong and transcendant truth.
It was Christianity's focus on mind and spirit that liberated science
from the shackles the originating Greeks had constrained it with. The
idea of a relationship with the divine that was not based on
transactions but an aspiration to know the beauty of creation inspired
every scientist from Newton to Einstein. Now we are reduced, once
again, to the level of mere animals. Good is what makes us feel good --
sexual gratification, prolonged physical health, the comfort of rituals
that make no demand on minds that have grown weary of complexity. For
their excessive demands on our minds, the gods of complexity must be
destroyed, utterly, by the most potent and ancient of magic. All their
mores must be trampled. All their virtues must be mocked. Everything
must be turned on its head. Rich must become poor. Evil must become
good. Man must become woman, woman must become man, commandments must
be broken, and the rituals we perform must be magical, not spiritual.
So they accept the ridiculous magical notion that a concert can change
climate -- provided that we say and do all the right things along the
way, regardless of the facts. It's the performance that matters, not
anything like a chain of cause and effect as scientists might
understand it.
What's actually amazing about all this is not the conduct of the
crazies, but the ambivalent reactions of the people you don't expect to
be crazy. That's where you see the real power of magic and paganism and
the irrational generally. I won't be forgiven for this (but who
cares?), and besides it was Camille Paglia in our time who has made the
strongest case for the theory that men invented rationality as a
defense against the native paganism of women, which is another way of
saying that if you want to see the cracks in the edifice of
rationality, look first to the women.
I've previously commented here on the peculiar response of the famous Ann
Althouse to Al Gore's idiot Global Warming movie. Today, we have
her equally ambivalent response to the Live
Earth concerts. Yes, she knows the whole exercise was silly. But:
Everyone likes Madonna now? No. Sorry. Not everyone does. Some of us
think Madonna is as much of a woman as Al Gore is of a man, and we're
not comfortable with either of them. And the idea that time somehow
alchemizes old vice into present-day respectability is uniquely female
-- and definitively amoral. Men who once thought Madonna physically
attractive but whorish haven't changed their perception of anything but
her attractiveness. Once a whore, always a whore. It's only from the
women that you hear the excuses and qualifications -- but she's been so
successful, for so long, and she keeps reinventing her.... what? Her
whorishness.
To most men I know she's reached the worst stage of whorishness --
she's reached the stage of kidding herself that a bunch of superficial
makeup -- a British accent, authoring children's books, playing the
grande dame expatriate from her native Queens -- will somehow undo the
nights she spent cruising Manhattan in her limo picking up gigolos for
wanton sex. That's an act of magic that makes sense to a large number
of women, but not to men. To men, you are what you do. To women, you
are what you can convince other women you are.
And if Madonna is somehow slowly transmogrifying -- like other English
women -- into a man, women are also strangely comforted, it seems, by
the fact that so many men, Al Gore included, are gradually morphing
into the sitzenpissers
of Germany. To the pagan mind, which resides deep in the minds of many,
this is the ultimate victory against rationalism, a milestone in the
return to the prehistorical times that are supposed to have been
matriarchal, when the Eleusinian Mysteries prevailed, and men were
subservient to women throughout the course of a single, endlessly
repeated year in which no history occurred, no writing disrupted the
cycle of the moon, no manufactured art competed with naked breasts, and
the earth was a merciless mother who still managed to screw every man,
woman, and child like a satyr.
Deep down, though, that's what most women still want. The Return.
Scroll through Ms. Althouse's site,
with special emphasis on her photography, and then look at this. Then take a
look at this and this, and tell me
how much faith you have in women to rescue western civilization with
their more highly evolved values.
Richard
Dawkins actually thinks he's winning. You can take it from me, he's
losing the house, the barn, and the car.
UPDATE.
A new controversy.
And more yuck.

But we all love her now, right? Right.