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October 18, 2011 - October 11, 2011

Tuesday, October 18, 2011


Republican Celebrities

Better than Rosie O'Donnell or Janeane Garofalo, dontcha think?

FIFTY CENT? What we're up against. The Dems have box office stars like George Clooney, Matt Damon, Samuel Jackson,  Morgan Freeman, and Leonardo diCaprio, and we have Bo Derek, Heather Locklear, Shannen Doherty, Cindy Crawford, Angie Harmon, and Jessica Simpson. Sheesh. And we've got some of the male braintrust of Hollywood too: Kevin Sorbo, Nick Lachey, Sylvester Stallone, Stephen Baldwin, Chuck Norris, Adam Sandler, and, vitally, "The Rock." Sheesh squared.

With the help of a little rounding error, that lot easily adds up to 100 IQ points.

Oh well. Hollywood isn't exactly representative of the whole country, is it? It's full of people who pretend to be heroes of various kinds for a living. A very good living, indeed, but can't you imagine how it galls to make millions only pretending to be brave and just and fine? If there's any set of millionaires on earth who are more likely to feel they haven't earned their fortunes, I don't know where you'd go to look for them.

Before anyone says otherwise, let me hasten to say I'm not looking for Cindy Crawford to express her political views. Here's what she's good at:



Just like this is what George Clooney is good at:



I don't begrudge them their success and wealth. But I just don't give a damn what their political opinions are. Because, by the nature of their lives, those opinions have nothing to do with my life or, probably, yours.




Monday, October 17, 2011


Power to the Pitiful Past...

You know. Vision is, you know, Vision.

THE BOOK OF WILLIE. Pardon the lowercase superscripts. They refer to things todays's kids can't refer to. Because the kids don't know anything. The rest of the lesson from a generation ago seems pretty much spot on. Except that nobody's even asked this particular set of semi-conscious losers to sacrifice anything. Unless you count not sexting on your cellphone while driving. Awww. Poor babies.

CHAPTER 5
1 jAnd it so happened that kHarry journeyed to a place called lAltarey, which means high mountain, and appeared to the multitudes, to whom he spoke, surrounded by mAngels.
2 nListen to me, he said, I am called Harry, and my way should be your way.
3 And some of them mocked him, saying, "Who are you to speak to us in this way? Your suit is in three pieces, your face is clean shaven, and your words sound to us like the grunting of a pig."
4 When they had said these and other things, the children moved closer to Harry as if they would beat him, but the Angels protected him, knocking many children cold, so that they were amazed at his wisdom and sat down to listen.
5 Then Harry said, I would say this to you, that you have heavy thoughts but see nothing, that you rap much but say little. What profit a man if he gain the earth and not know it?...
8 Thereupon did Harry walk through the crowd, unmolested by anyone, and mounted the stage, from which place he spoke in a loud voice and at great length...

CHAPTER 7
1 aMy name is called Harry, and I have knowledge of all things, because I am smart, and do not try to fool myself with a lot of nonsense about bideals and cbeliefs.
2 And truly, this is good news for you, because the things that I know are no secret, dbut have been written down many times before, and have even been taught you your whole life, although you cannot see the forest because your eyes are so full of trees.
3 Now I ask you to pluck the trees from your eyes, and behold the forest, which will give you a vision of eparadise.
4 Let me give you an example of what I mean. You have heard this recently fdeceased child cry out against the land of the Americans with great irritation. He has seen that the Americans commit genocide against their own gblack people and their own hnative population and against the iyellow peoples of Southeast Asia,
5 And he therefore believes that the Americans are jevil. And more than this, he concludes that the American evil surpasses the evil of all other peoples and all other knations, all over the world.
6 This is a great tree that has become stuck in all your eyes, which I conclude from the fact that fully a third of your number are wearing the lflag of the world's Most Chosen Nation on your buttocks.
7 This tree burns your eyes, with a fire like righteous indignation, and if you do not wise up it will consume you, which would be foolish indeed, because this is not the only tree in the forest.
8 Truly, this is not the only tree in this particular forest, which is great and vast and extends far beyond the limited reach of your ignorance.
9 Pay close attention while I remind you of the forest.

CHAPTER 8
1 The trees in this forest are as countless as the grains of sand on the beach at Malibu, where I will be going later on.
2 Since the very beginning of time, the mChosen Nations of the world have committed genocide against everyone who dared to oppose them.
3 If you had paid attention in high school, you would know that the nHebrews committed genocide against the Philistines, and the oAssyrians committed genocide against every nation in pMesopotamia,
4 qAnd the Greeks committed genocide against the Trojans,
5 rAnd the Romans committed genocide against the Carthaginians,
6 sAnd the barbarians of Europe committed genocide against the Romans and each other,7 aAnd the Christians of Europe committed genocide against the Saracens and each other,
8 bAnd the Spics committed genocide against the Indians of Central America,
9 cAnd the Frogs committed genocide against the other nations of Europe,
10 dAnd the Brits committed genocide against practically every nation on the planet,
11 eAnd the Krauts committed genocide against the Jews and everybody else too,
12 fAnd all the Chosen Nations in the Middle East committed genocide against all the other Chosen Nations in the Middle East, not to mention large parts of Europe and other places,
13 gAnd the Russkies committed genocide against their own people for thousands of years,
14 hAnd likewise, the Chinks have also learned to commit genocide against their own people,
15 iAnd the Nips committed genocide against every nation in the South Pacific,
16 jAnd at every time in the whole course of human history, the Chosen Nations have always sought to commit genocide against anyone who stood in their way,
17 No matter how big or how small an obstacle they were.
18 But none of this matters to you, of course, because you believe that kyour tree is the only tree.

CHAPTER 9
1 For the tree that is stuck in your eyes is a great stupid tree, and you look at it and think that it fills the whole universe with evil, and that no other tree has ever grown so tall and burned the eyes so viciously.
2 And truly this tree burns your eyes with a fire like lnapalm, so that you think you cannot stand it.
3 And you beat your breasts and say, I can never grow used to this tree, and I can never eat of its fruit or climb its branches, because it is an evil tree,
4 And so I will sit far away from the tree, and I will do everything possible to show that I am not of this tree, and think that its fruit is poison, and that its branches should be climbed only by criminals.
5 More than this, you say, I will do everything differently from what is done by the criminals who climb the branches of this tree.
6 I will not wear the clothes that they wear,
7 And I will not consume the things that they consume,
8 And I will not like the mthings that they like,
9 And I will do everything there is to do differently from the criminals of the tree,
10 nIncluding not wash,
11 And not shave,
12 And not brush my teeth,
13 And not launder my clothes,
14 Or any other thing that is like what the criminals do.
8 But I ask you, Did not the aMayas and the Aztecs also commit genocide in the name of God against those who opposed them, and even against their own people?
9 You would deplore the bBrits who committed genocide against the Zulus of South Africa, not even in the name of God, but in the name of the king, for the purpose of expanding their evil empire.
10 But again I ask you, Did not the cZulus commit genocide against their neighbors, also in the name of their king, for the purpose of expanding their empire?
11 And so what is the difference between the conquistadors and the Mayas, or between the Brits and the Zulus?
12 The only difference is that the Spic tree was taller than the Maya tree, and the Brit tree was taller than the Zulu tree,
13 Just as the American tree is taller than the tree of Southeast Asia or the tree of the native Americans.
14 And if you cut down the biggest tree, you will simply make room for the smaller trees to grow taller,
15 By committing genocide against their neighbors and their own peoples,
16 dWhich is what they all want to do anyway,
17 All of them,
18 Including even the very tiniest trees on the planet,
19 Even unto the headhunters of the rain forest,
20 Who have no nuclear weapons,
21 Or B-52s,
22 Or napalm,
23 But still want more eheads anyway,
24 Because they too are of the tree of fman....

CHAPTER 13
1 By the same token, all of you are also of the tree of man,
2 Which can't have escaped your attention completely.
3 When I first spoke to you, you did not reply to me with words of peace and love,
4 gBut you threatened me with physical injury,
5 hBecause I looked different from you, and do not smell bad,
6 iAnd are only listening to me now because I brought plenty of Angels with me.
7 jAnd if I were to ask which of you would lay down his life for all the Others you love so much, you would look at each other and slink away,
8 Because you can hide nothing from me.
9 For I am Harry, and I know you better than you know yourselves,
10 Because I am just like you,
11 Only a lot smarter.
12 For example, I know what your kparents and your teachers and your politicians do not,
13 Which is that your ideals are as thin as tissue paper,
14 And even more transparent.
15 You have been born and raised in the Most Chosen Nation on Earth,
16 And from the moment of your birth, you have always had your own way,
17 And everything else you wanted,
18 Because your parents were born into a time of afamine,
19 And they wanted you to have more than they did,
20 And so they gave it to you,
21 Just like bmy parents gave me everything I ever wanted.
22 And you grew up watching TV,
23 cWhere you learned that every problem anyone ever had could be figured out in just twenty-two minutes,
24 And there was no such thing as a problem that could not be solved,
25 Because this is America,
26 And you were born Americans,
27 And Americans always get their own way,
28 dAnd always win.
29 But then you got to be eighteen years old,
30 And suddenly America asked you to do something it wanted,
31 But you didn't want to,
32 Because who wants to die for a bunch of creepy little egooks in some faraway jungle,
33 When you could be at home having fun,
34 And getting flaid,
35 And having geverything you ever wanted?

CHAPTER 14
1 Notice that none of this has anything to do with genocide or evil,
2 Except that one of the greatest things about life,
3 As you will learn, provided you can pay attention for a little while longer,
4 hWhich I have doubts about,
5 Is that there is always a good and virtuous reason for being opposed to doing what you don't want to do.
6 In this case, you did not want to die in some faraway land,
7 And so you discovered iideals.
8 And where did these great ideals come from?
9 jDid they come from your encyclopedic knowledge of history, which you got from Clark Gable and John Wayne and Errol Flynn and Charlton Heston?
10 kDid they come from your vast knowledge of religion, which you got from John Huston and Jeffrey Hunter and Charlton Heston?
11 lDid they come from your deep knowledge of politics and government, which you got in twenty-two minutes a night from Walter Cronkite and Chet Huntley, unless you got it from the sports page?
12 Did they come from your rich experience of culture, which you got from the mThree Stooges and nLucille Ball and oSuperman and pThe Lone Ranger and qEd Sullivan?
13 rDid you get them from each other, through profound conversation that struck deep into the heart of things?
14 Did they come from your intellectual awakening in college, where you learned how to smoke dope and screw like rabbits and cut class and read sCliff Notes and grow beards and give up bathing?

CHAPTER 15
1 Yes, I believe pretty devoutly in all your ideals,
2 Because I have ideals too,
3 And I have seen your devotion to freedom of speech, which you have proven by jdenying it to your opponents on college campuses all over America,
4 And I have seen your love of your fellow man, which you have proved in kriots on college campuses all over America,
5 lAnd I have seen your powerful vision of the future, which you have revealed in communes and other pigsties all over America,
6 And I have been impressed.
7 In fact, I have been greatly impressed by the amazing frequency with which you mdo exactly what you want to do,
8 nWhenever you want to do it,
9 And wherever you want to do it,
10 Which is exactly the way I'd expect the children of a Chosen Nation like this one to behave,
11 And isn't different in any way at all from the behavior of the government you despise so much.

Am I bitter? Yeah. I've spent my whole life watching half-educated idiots fooling totally uneducated idiots into destroying my country. Now I have to face the prospect of somewhat educated idiots finishing the job.

I finally understand Mark Twain's bit about about Hadleyburg. And I will not apologize to anyone about anything I've said. I'm right. As I have been for eight years. Eight? Let's try twenty.




Friday, October 14, 2011


A More Serious Analysis of
"Occupy Wall Street" than
You'll Get from the Media.



SHAMMADAMMA. You really can't get much sillier than all the MSM hype of the "Occupy Wall Street" protest. Liberals are so desperate to have a grassroots movement of their own that they're unable to see the manifold absurdities of this idiotic throwback to the Sixties. They keep encouraging the protesters to become more focused, which is hardly the problem. They're focused like a laser. On a hundred discrepant varieties of nuttery. The problem is education. Laughably, I've heard lib pundits refer to them as highly educated, meaning that many of them are the product of American higher education. Which has taught them absolutely nothing. They've all had their little splinter majors in womyns studies and third-world post-modern political science and the awfulness of imperialist amerika and eco-drama and Gaia and nothing whatever about economics, the enlightenment, and the history of the United States and its constitution.

The one thing their professors have communicated to them is their own nostalgia for the anarchic tantrums of the radical sixties and its vacuously vicious bumper-sticker vocabulary. Of course, the media stars and decision makers are mostly members themselves of that secret society which is more potent and damaging than Skull & Bones ever was -- they joined the great altruistic political movement of those who did not want to be drafted to fight the Vietnam War. That's why the media can't see these pitiful losers for what they are. They sympathize. Scratch that. They empathize. So much so that they have reconfigured their own personal histories through this funhouse lens: they choose, for the moment, to transform their own development from selfish spoiled brats to functioning members of the establishment into the sellout their infantile adolescent selves would have deemed it.  And it makes them feel young again. Which is why they're not really listening ...



And in the process, they reveal themselves. They didn't ever really change. Their educations were sabotaged too. They never learned to understand the true strengths of the country they were born into. They just learned how to succeed at any cost. For which a passive-aggressive snit-fit like this one makes them feel guiltily reminiscent. They feel obligated to apply all their painfully acquired propaganda skills to the ludicrous of task of elevating ignorant, lazy, posturing narcissists into a nascent political movement that might somehow save their unexamined and mindlessly promoted totem, Barack Obama. Even though most of the, yes, highly focused targets of attack are at least as much Obama's fault as they are of the 'right wing, capitalist pig conspiracy.' (Yeah, I was there, Charlie. Any of YOU know the sweet purple smell of damp mimeographs papering the streets of a college demonstration? I thought not.)

It's a joke...


They're a joke. The whole situation is a joke. A bunch of dirty, smelly, pot-smoking morons are camping out on Wall Street with the implicit endorsement of a billionaire mayor who has purchased all his terms in office with an outlay of hundreds of millions of dollars and yet sympathizes with their inarticulate rage because he's, you know, at heart, a squishy sixties liberal.

If you want to see how this farce really should play out, watch the full episode.

It won't happen this way, of course. Too many fine words still to be farted from the mouths of Mike Lupica, Christiane Ammanpour, Anderson Cooper, Chris Matthews, Lawrence O'Donnell, Diane Sawyer, and all the other numbskulls who infest our airwaves with glossy degrees from corrupt universities that failed to give them an education multiple generations ago.

But as I continue to insist, if you can't laugh in this insane environment, you will ultimately go mad.

P.S. You think it was cool? You heard it was cool? Here's what the high-toned libs are nostalgic for:

During the week of the Democratic National Convention [in 1968], the Chicago police were the targets of mounting provocation by both word and act. It took the form of obscene epithets, and of rocks, sticks, bathroom titles, and even human feces hurled at police by demonstrators.

No wonder they sympathize with the decision not to clean the garbage pit protesters have made of their Wall Street squatting ground. Want a picture of idealism in action?



Of course, it takes some real digging to uncover the extent of the mob violence that occurred that summer in Chicago. Many supposedly responsible adults still want to see the rioters as idealists.


Most of the MSM remembrances emphasize the brutality of Mayor Daley, not the shootings, arson, and other outrages of the "peace" protesters.

Let's just guess how happy Chris Matthews and Tom Brokaw would
 be to receive a face full of shit from the ultra-tolerant like themselves.

It's always Democrats who unload the heavy artillery against those they disagree with. Like bullies everywhere, they've learned they can get away with it. Even when they're occasionally and accidentally right. In the final analysis, they're always the bully party.



Whether Christianne Ammanpour knows it or not, we can't afford to turn the United States into the Jew-hating middle east. But bullies never know when to quit.




Wednesday, October 12, 2011


I almost forgot...
The Other Sinatra


BEYOND SINATRA. So sue me. The greatest album of love songs ever recorded was Nat "King" Cole's The VeryThought of You. He started as a piano player, but then someone discovered he could sing. And, boy, could he sing. If you love her and want to prove it to her, play this for her. I don't care how young you both are. I don't care how many tattooes she has or how many bolts sticking out of her, she wants to hear this about how you're feeling.

The old man is doing you a favor.


The saddest thing to me about the youngsters is that they have lost their sense of romance. The romance of life. And worse, the romance of romance.

I'll tell you a secret. I listen to these songs when the missus isn't even here. Because I miss her every moment she isn't.

She prefers Neil Diamond. And because she does, so do I.



She tells me she has no more idea what this song is about than I do. She just likes it. Why men love women. Women don't need a reason. We always think we do. Wrong.




Tuesday, October 11, 2011


Basket Case


LONG TIME AGO. Ordinarily, I don't have much use for HotAir's daily feature "Quotes of the Day." The only attributions are by hyperlink, and the only editorial contribution is a snarky caption on the main page. CSI Miami style. You know. Too cute by half and far too self-involved to pay attention to. Today, though, I was struck by it. Obama is in trouble. Not just politically but personally (read the whole thing):

“The reports are not good, disturbing even. I have heard basically the same story four times in the last 10 days, and the people doing the talking are in New York and Washington and are spread across the political spectrum.

“The gist is this: President Obama has become a lone wolf, a stranger to his own government. He talks mostly, and sometimes only, to friend and adviser Valerie Jarrett and to David Axelrod, his political strategist.

“Everybody else, including members of his Cabinet, have little face time with him except for brief meetings that serve as photo ops. Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton and Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner both have complained, according to people who have talked to them, that they are shut out of important decisions.

“The president’s workdays are said to end early, often at 4 p.m. He usually has dinner in the family residence with his wife and daughters, then retreats to a private office. One person said he takes a stack of briefing books. Others aren’t sure what he does.”

So I was on the phone with the missus and I said, "This has to be a post but I don't know what to say." And she said, "Well, that's hardly surprising. You said it all already. For four years." Then I think she yawned. But it's the phone, so who knows for sure?

And I said, "But... but... but..."

"Well, you'll think of something," she said and hung up. I think it's pizza day at the ultra-secret facility where she works.

Talk about a build-up. What can I do to meet this level of expectation? Only this:

The idea of a president alone is not in itself disturbing. We all tend to think of Lincoln that way, contemplating the weight of issues only he had the wisdom to penetrate. And for whom is this not the favorite photograph of John F. Kennedy during the Cuban Missile Crisis?



Alone isn't the problem. Alone is better than some images. Richard Nixon roaming the White House halls talking to presidential portraits with a glass of scotch in his hand. And who hasn't heard the pitiful stories of Jimmy Carter holed up in the Oval Office managing the schedule of the White House tennis court while the whole country was circling the drain? That's a picture I'd rather not have in my head.

So what is it about the image of Obama creeping into his private study with briefing books he may or may not be reading that strikes me as so affecting?

It's the unexpectedness. Which represents a disconnect between the mass media illusion and the facts of the matter. That's what's unsettling.

To some extent, we're used to being gulled by MSM idolatry of the saintly Obamas. (Yeah, we know he smokes and she has Cheetos in that great big purse. Who cares?) But if there's one thing we think we know for sure, it's that our president never ever stops talking to his inferiors. Today he's a lecturing Harvard snob sneering at the cameras. Tonight he's a black preacher dropping g's in a Wisconsin union hall or wherever. Doesn't matter. The man is ALWAYS on TV. I don't think I've ever turned on Fox News in the middle of the day without seeing him either lecturing or preaching at me about the evils of making money in a sick economy. How does he have time to go to the bathroom by himself, let alone quit early and find a teleprompter-less room of his own in which to hide?

The missus was right that I always knew he wasn't up to the job. But she forgot about the part where we get these sad and even tragic images of his loneliness even as he insists on being the most omnipresent image on TV since Kermit the Frog and Barney the Dinosaur.

Here's the worst part. I don't believe that private study doesn't have a teleprompter. I think he's in there making speeches to himself and watching his banal rhetorical brilliance on a 60-inch widescreen high-def TV. I'm thinking Sunset Boulevard Pennsylvania Avenue style.

Why, probably, the missus hung up on me. She thinks I go down imaginary corridors no one should explore. She's right about that.

Which suggests I should provide some assistance in getting rid of that last unfortunate image. Contest! What song best describes our beleaguered president's mental condition? For inspiration, here's Wiki's list of the most depressing songs.

Have at it.

Also, read Jonah Goldberg. (I'm pretty sure I should always say that....)

WE MIGHT HAVE A WINNER! At least, I was pretty impressed by Helk's nomination. Who'd'a thunk Helk knew a piece of music more than ten weeks old?



By all means, keep trying. But this is the new bar you have to surpass.




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