Instapun*** Archive Listing

Archive Listing
January 6, 2010 - December 30, 2009

Monday, January 04, 2010

2010 Caption Contest

IT'S ALL ALWAYS ABOUT 'O,' ISN'T IT? So many things to talk about. In the, like, new year. All those sheer coincidences, like with the underpants bomber corresponding with exactly the same American-born jihadist who was so understandingly kind to the Fort Hood shooter. And the shutting down of the U.S. Yemen embassy at the same time the Obama administration insists it still intends to return Yemeni prisoners at Gitmo to -- wait for it -- Yemen.  Or the obvious signs of disconnect between the Brits' MI5 and our own intelligence organizations, given Obama's entirely inadvertent newbie repudiation of the "special relationship" with the U.K. Or the lawyering up of the gonad-fried Nigerian who just might know something worth knowing about the who, when, how, and where of the next terrorist attack on America, meaning the, uh, THIRD such attack on our nation since the seven year hiatus coincident with the nastily incompetent Bush administration.

[S'pose we shouldn't mention this old irrelevant IP post:

When Bush leaves office, it will be like the marshal turning in his badge and riding out of Dodge City. It's the worldwide fear of how the United States will react that has kept the global pot simmering just below a boil. Even if they suspect that Bush won't call in airstrikes or a battalion of marines in response to a truly provocative act, they don't know it for sure. And so they hesitate, they think and think again, and then they wait. What are they waiting for? For Bush to be gone. As he will be in January 2009.]

'Course we shouldn't. So we won't.]

Or the awful coincidence that a mere foreign policy blow-up should distract attention from the incredibly compassionate totalitarian healthcare bill everyone hates but the Democratic majority in congress. Or the continuing erosion of scientific evidence for a climate-change-driven takeover of nation-state governments in favor of celebrity do-gooders and western aristo-autocrats who are determined to save us lunkheads from ourselves. Or the deliberately but spiriturally enlightened government-engineered collapse of capitalism, the U.S. job market, the dollar, and American credibility in international negotiations that will effect social justice for all the world's savagely violent barbarians. Why would the have-nots in the global population embarrass the well-intentioned O-Man in such an inconvenient and violent way? Coincidence. Unless it's conspiracy.

Sheesh. What's a poor blogger to do? How do you differentiate coincidence from conspiracy in a first entry after a major holiday during which nobody is paying much attention to anything?

After a break, it's always hard to leap back in with a relevant post that makes readers say, "Oh, they have been on top of absolutely everything even while they were sucking up turkey and stuffing and eggnog." Which is why I'm not inclined to accept the oh-so-moderate view of the perennially moderate Ed Morrissey when he says of the Biden-Obama snap:

I’m sure that all is well between the two, and that this is just a fluke of photography.

He goes on, of course, to initiate his own caption contest. But I'm thinking we can do better than Hotair here. Consider it a chance to let loose your own dudgeon about events of the past year. After you weigh in, we'll ruminate on your input very carefully and then proceed, once again, to talk about what we want to talk about, as usual.

Except that I have, as always, my own caption to propose first:


Top it if you can.

Happy New Year, everybody.

My Friend, Lloyd Pye

UNDERVERSE. Months ago, I set up two new websites.They were there to deal with the bubbling, churning convictions of InstaPunk readers who loved science fiction above all other forms of art. And scientific debate above all other human disciplines. Faugh. (Hey. It's a hell of a lot easier to think you have something to say than to say something today, tomorrow, and the next day.) I remember that shortly before both sites died from lack of interest, like all things in declining America, they had occasion to attack Lloyd Pye, whom they ceased to attack only because I pronounced him a personal friend of mine. Mind you, they hadn't read anything by Lloyd Pye, had no basis for disrespecting him... it was just that he must be a fucking lunatic because they knew better.

I don't mean to assault my friends. But I do mean to defend my friend. Yes, he appears on TV regularly. On UFO Hunters, Monster Quest, and probably Ghost Whatnots USA. Does he haunt the airways on the old Art Bell radio show out of Las Vegas? Yes. Has he become rich from his research on a weird skull dug out of a desert grave a generation ago? No.

Lloyd Pye is not rich. As smart as he is, he should be. (Here's a nice online book he wrote.Which you can read for free.) But he isn't rich. He's forever grubbing -- and I do mean grubbing -- for money for a fucking DNA test. Why? Obviously because all he wants from life is to be a goddam Marsdhall McLuhan 15-minute star. That's why we have corresponded, duelled, agreed and disagreed, met in person, and exchanged arguments about all manner of subjects for the last five years. Because he's a fake and I'm a seer. Except he didn't call me a seer. He called me a polymath. Probably the only thing he's been seriously wrong about. The older I get, the more I retreat from my youthful conviction that I know everything about everything. I'd let all this go except that my personal email lately turned up the following from Mr. Pye:

A quick update on "MonsterQuest": I spent three days in El Paso filming again, this time with a forensic anthropologist named Susan Myster, a charming lady who feels the Starchild must result from deliberate "manipulation," the term she uses rather than cradleboarding. Surprisingly, she didn't add "hydrocephaly" to the mix, as experts usually do, although she (and no one else) can account for the skull's many other highly unusual characteristics. I'm not complaining, though. She was an absolute sweetheart, and without a skeptic of some kind on the show it could not be aired. I assume you all know by now that this is how the TV game is played when it comes to alternative subjects.
Another complaint lodged against me: I get them regularly, as you're coming to know, but when they're something others might be thinking, as is suggested in the letter, it's time to air it out with the list members to see if anyone has anything to add. I try my best to be open and above-board with everything relating to the important work of dealing with the Starchild, so negative opinions like this one need to be addressed, too. The letter is from Ken R., whom I've not heard from before this message. My reply is below his.
Mr. Pye,
            I read your book and really enjoyed it; however, one thing is bothering me. How long is this going to go on for? At the end of your book, you claimed that the skull only needed one more DNA test to verify that it isn't human and here we are a couple of years later with still no answers. I also see that you are branching out into other areas (Big Foot, fancy web pages, etc.), and can't help but wonder if you are just trying to make money and a name for yourself. What's the REAL deal with all this that you have going on? P.S. I am a subscriber to your update site but am tempted to remove my name because in my eyes you are losing credibility and I'm sure others are feeling the same. Thank You.
That's a courteous but frank letter of complaint, so I'll give you an equally courteous but frank answer. If you're on my mailing list you should already know the situation. We need about $250,000 for a very special DNA test that can recover the Starchild's entire genome, all 3 billion base pairs. Nothing else will do because we have to be able to announce to the world exactly HOW FAR the Starchild's genome was from a typical human's. That is a 3-4 month process, and because of its extreme importance and sensitivity we will have to film every significant step in the process to prove we did everything correctly.
We also have to produce a documentary movie that wraps the back story around the testing process, which will cost another $250,000. So we need fully a half-million dollar investment to make it happen. In the world of movie-making this is complete chicken-feed, but in the world of alternative knowledge, where most of us are not wealthy, it is an enormous amount. You can be sure that no one wants this to be over with more than I do. It's been a monkey on my back for 11 years now, and it feels like an elephant.
Also, if you read my book about this ordeal you should be ashamed of accusing me of doing it only to make money. The book makes clear that I had to voluntarily take a "vow of poverty" precisely to avoid giving scientists any ability to suggest my intentions are nefarious. You've never seen any copies of the Starchild skull for sale, or bumper stickers or mugs or posters or Mardi Gras masks or Halloween masks or kids' pajamas or anything else that would have been easy to make good money with, because anything like that would immediately cast doubt on my motives for proving its genetic heritage.
I've deliberately stayed poor and in the process went bankrupt in order to do this right. Why? Because I've known from the beginning that everything about the Starchild would be subject to intense scrutiny, and only scrupulous behavior on my part would pass muster with the scientists just waiting to pounce on any little misstep I might make. So far I haven't heard any of them accuse me of the usual offense of "being in it for the money," so it hurts like hell when someone supposedly from my own team, like you, suggests that I am.
As for my "fancy" website and my interest in bigfoot, etc., my website will be new but not fancy because I can't afford to hire professional help with it. And my interest in hominoids long preceeds my connection to the Starchild. In fact, my work in that field is why the Starchild came my way. So until you actually know who I am and how I got into the position I'm in, you shouldn't be so quick to criticize or make foolish accusations.
The REAL deal you asked about is simple: I'm trying to hang on through the economic downturn, like most people, so I can get on with trying to connect with the deep pocket person, or persons, who will finally lift the Starchild burden off our shoulders and place it on the shoulders of mainstream science, where it has always belonged.

You know... I get tired. Lloyd Pye is an honest man. He's also smart. How many of you would want to go toe to toe with me? When he was wrong he admitted it. When he was right I embraced it. [Bigfoot lives...!]

He was a tailback at Tulane and more than that:

Starchild eBook:
Starchild paperback book:
Everything You Know Is Wrong:
Mismatch (hi-tech spy thriller):
A Darker Shade of Red (football novel):

I was only a fencer. And a saber star. And a Chrysler monster. And, of course, InstaPunk.

As always.

Sunday, January 03, 2010

We'll see, won't we?

Funny. I could have sworn there were instant videos of Pelosi being sworn in.

WILLIE.5.6-6.7. Over the holidays I had an old and valued friend explain why he contravened the Churchillian maxim that if you're not liberal when you're young, you have no heart, and if you're not conservative when you're old, you have no brain. He's followed the exact opposite route. For example, he's foursquare behind ObamaCare, based on an agonizing personal experience with impotent healthcare bureaucracy he compares unfavorably to what he's seen in Europe.

I didn't debate the subject with him. He's allowed his views. And I like and respect him. He also knows a lot about politics -- the sheer awfulness and tawdriness of it.

I'm not going to debate him backhandedly here, either, since I held my fire in our phone conversation. What I will do is offer two observations, one micro and one macro, I'd like everyone to think about as we embark on a new year.

Micro. It's impossible not to encounter the ridiculous waste, stupidity, and small-mindedness that characterizes every even fairly large organization in which we work or otherwise participate. Every corporate employee finds himself wishing for a deus ex machina who can descend from on high with clear judgment and a fair view of what is right and what is wrong. My observation? The bigger the organization, the less likely that clear judgment will ever occur. The greater the size, scope, and scale of the intervening authority, the more waste and absurdity we are likely to see. Truth is, all the ugly wasted effort we all encounter in the private sector is a marvel of efficiency compared to what government does. Inefficiency in the private sector is dealt with by financial death. Frequently ugly, to be sure, but sure. In the government sector it's dealt with by increasing the budget.

Macro. The people in charge, despite the Obama gloss, are still the Baby Boomers. And guess what? They've spent their whole lives looking for easy answers and now they're, well, exhausted. In every possible way. They've explored every nook and cranny of existence and they just don't believe in people anymore, because the people they know best are, TA DA, Baby Boomers. Who don't believe in anything. Because they've believed in everything you can possibly imagine except themselves. Who they always knew were never any damn good.

I'm not dissing my friend. I feel it myself.

What you're fighting as you try to save our nation. Fight well. And fight hard. We're the worst of all possible enemies. Better educated than you and completely filled with darkness.

Thursday, December 31, 2009

President Palin

Also: Part 2

EATING MORE CROW. I've already admitted that I find it hard to watch Sarah Palin in her media appearances. Chalk it up to the fact that I'm old and regard her as I do my daughter -- someone I can't stand to see ridiculed, demeaned, lampooned. But I woke up too early this morning and watched the O'Reilly Factor special on his Palin interview.

Which means I'm retrenching yet again. Mrs. CP (math major, Russian lit minor) has repeatedly told me my doubts about Palin's ability to be president were, if not sexist, lame.

Mrs. CP is right. Sign me up. I'll vote for Palin over Romney, Huckabee, and any other old white guy the Repubs want to put up. But let me share my thinking, before and after. I think it will be illuminating.

You see. uh. You see, I thought that after Obama, Americans would be done with amateurs. Done with experimentation in the name of political correctness. Even though I remembered a discussion that raged during the Carter adminstration -- Is the presidency of the United States too hard for anyone to discharge successfully? Then, of course, Reagan took office and the MSM immediately began wondering if he was spending enough time in the oval office, even as he turned the country's economy around for a generation of prosperity and defeated the Soviet Union for ever... Now, I'm ruminating, is there enough presidential stuff to keep Sarah occupied between obligatory media events?

I won't say that Palin is the new Reagan. She's not as smart as Reagan was. But she's smart enough. More than. She played O'Reilly like a fiddle (notwithstanding his adoring body language expert who insisted he 'intimidated' Palin. Right.). She's an incredible natural politician. Her responses about Obama were all spot on. Not nasty but politely deadly. She has the Reagan gift: she can criticize wiythout sounding negative. She's us, believes in us, and yet makes it unmistakably clear that everything Obama is doing is wrong. She also has the gift of making the correction process seem simple. Except that as an executive, she knows there's mucho work involved in unscrambling the scramble of government.

Is she glib? Yup. Too much so? Only if shrewd honesty is glib. She's us. But far more savvy about what you can't say, even though you know what she wants to say but can't. I've never seen anything like her. Not even Reagan. You're admiring her tact the whole time you're crediting her forthrightness. Only a woman can make that work. The wink Hotair continually references is dead on. In our day and age, no pose of naivete will work. You have to know what's going on in the era of technology, scandal, and lewd intrusiveness. We all know what Andrew Sullivan has tried to do to Sarah Palin, and she sknows it too, but she's determined to rise above him, and she does so EASILY. Not even Reagan could do that.

Which leads me to the why of her suitability for the presidency. Lots of easy answers here. She's smart. (Watch the interview clips above and tell me she isn't.) She has blue-collar common sense. (Democrats who scoff at that better think twice before they take credit for Harry Truman, who graduated from no college...) She has a communications gift: what other politician can drive the national debate from a f***ing Facebook page...?

Which leads me to the why of her suitability for the presidency. (Repetition deliberate.) She's us, only less inhibited. She's us, all out. That's how out front she is. If we insisted, she'd show us her stretch marks. Being naked in public doesn't bother her. That's why I was wrong to compare her too closely to Obama. He is committed to hiding. His true beliefs, intentions, desires, if he has any. She doesn't know what hiding is. It's probably an Alaska thing. She doesn't mind us knowing that her husband nails her repeatedly and she loves it, which is why she has five kids and why all the feminists on the left hate her to death.

She has no false modesty. Which is not to say that she has no modesty. She does. It's rather to say that she has honest femininity and naked humanity. Which speaks to most of us.

Why she terrifies the Dems. The sterile, frigid, impotent, constipated, elitist minority. The worst thing they can possibly imagine is a comfortably female president who just loves getting f***ed by her stud hubby.

Which puts her in the overwhelming majority. Except that she will be the President of the United States. Which puts her in the tiny minority of those who regard Bill O'Reilly as a facilitating vehicle, not a frightening villain.


You heard it here first.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Obama's Three Letters

1.  Blame your Predecessor. (0.00 to 3:00) Unless
you care about Dowd. In which case, continue.

RECOGNIZE THE WHIPPED MARSHAL, DO YOU? Back in the days when I was a management consultant, there was a corporate joke so well known that it amounted to common wisdom. Here's how it goes:

A CEO assumes his illustrious new position and moves into the hallowed high-rise corner-window office. On the desk blotter he discovers a note that says, "I have prepared three letters. Open them one at a time and only when you run into trouble." Full of confidence, he brushes the note aside, but within a few months he is assailed and undertakes a search for the first letter, which reads: "Blame your predecessor." He does so and survives for full year, until another crisis besets his administration. He searches for the second letter, which says, simply, "Reorganize." So he undertakes a massive reorganization, which buys him a couple more years, except that results are still so poor that he finally turns the office inside out to find the third letter, which reads, "Prepare three letters."

It appears that we have now reached the end of the grasp of Letter Number One. Next up, undubitably, will be the gigantic flurry that accompanies Letter Number Two:

How’s that 9/11 Commission reorganization working?

Now that Barack Obama has finally admitted what everyone else knew — that the intelligence and security systems designed to prevent another 9/11 had failed with Umar Abdulmutallab — it’s time to ask what Obama and Congress plan to do about it.  Eight years after 9/11, we have still not set up our system to “connect the dots” and prevent all attacks from occurring.  We have prevented quite a few, including at least three plots this year, but as has been repeatedly pointed out, we have to get it right every single time, while our enemies only have to get it right once — and they adapt to every failure.

And when the failure is “systemic,” as Obama rightly said yesterday, we have a big, big problem...

Thing is, I doubt that just any old reorganization is going to work. Letting "suspects" lawyer up with their Miranda rights after being charged with their "alleged" crimes is probably going to result in another incident at least analogous to 9/11. No doubt things will be reorganized. Heads will roll within the administration if not without. (Napolitano, look out; Yemen, not so much.) It's called the Chicago Way:

Such has already been promised. Except that the new CEO still thinks the foot soldiers at large can be baffled with bullshit when it comes to what conveniences him versus what satiates the loser rabble. And when real world consequences demonstrate that internal recriminations, reviews, and reshufflings don't eliminate real outside threats to that disregarded rabble, I very much doubt that the CEO code will be sustained. There will be no Third Letter prepared by Old Bummy Face. He'll choose to go out differently from the CEO Way. With variations, it's still called the Chicago Way. It just has a finely visionary international flavor. Post-modernly politically correct Michelin-star cuisine with a spicy Chavez-Castro blend of gourmet HOT sauce. Yeah, that's the ticket.

Last Day of the First Year. Of Obama.

Are you getting tired yet, O you worshipful ones?

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