June 20, 2009 - June 13, 2009
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Bianca Jagger. She sure did
look the part. But that's not the requirement.
. It can't escape your attention that we've been hard on
past week or so. So it's only appropriate that we give recognition to
the distaff side of the rock and rollers we've been encouraging you to
consult for a passion injection. Call it penance. To us, that sounds
too negative, though. We're pleased to write about real female talent.
There's a lot of it, and it's sad to see so much of it twisted these
days into bureaucratic hermaphroditism. Women really should be women.
That's what they're best at. (Gay pride notwithstanding.)
To this end, we've pored through thousands of rock videos (not really),
looking for the Top Ten rockingest broads in music. Criteria? Not
country. Not R&B. Not jazz. Not pop. We're talking rockers
here. And unlike the
previous post on rock videos, we don't have to be concerned about
timing. Some of these babes recorded before
the age of MTV and that's fine. Although before we do the Top Ten,
we'll also give a nod to some girls who had the right look, attitude,
and sound to make a video
ten list: Till
and Cyndi Lauper
See? Lots of talent cast aside because there's so
much to choose from.
But here are the women who were magnetic, steeped in the music, and
HOT, good looking or not. I will also stipulate that Mrs. IP kibbitzed
intensively on this list. She was spotlessly objective throughout, and
the Number One she insisted on was not even one she personally likes.
So fight all you want. But this IS the List.
She's a rocker, this girl. I personally fell in love wuth her when she
rerecorded "Crimson and Clover" by Tommy James and the Shondells, which
in my day was regarded as the most erotic song ever to sneak past the
censors. For a woman to record it? Cool. No. uh, Hot.
What a set of pipes this girl had. And that pouty mouth. Pouty but
mean. And she knew how to strut.
Never cared that Ann Wilson was a big girl. All that volume and
resonance has to come from somewhere. Somewhere big and deep.
Imagine hearing your own wife belting
out her love
for you this way. Go on. Try.
Talent's important. But not the most important thing in rock. Wanting
it matters too. Courtney wanted it. Wanted everything. Maybe too much.
everything? They did.
Scrawny, plain, wild animal of a girl. She was a groupie. What she
needed was to be a rock star. More than anyone else has ever needed it.
She got it.
Not really. Star? Absolutely. Punk? The Most Ever.
Screw Madonna. Not that everyone hasn't already. This is the one who
made the "Marilyn" thing work on the rock and roll stage. Sexy and
feminine. Easier said than done.
sound. Unique look. Until Madonna stole it.
Vassar girl. Drank champagne by the case. Perfect Marxist. For a rock
She was a presence on stage like few others.
This little girl could stop your heart in a single measure. Good God
Almighty she was a force to be reckoned with. Sinners were converted by
jukeboxes that had her records playing on them. Me included.
still melt when she holds that note.
What can you say? French protestations to the contrary, Tina invented
sex. It was a great invention.
a bonus. Tina and Mick here.
Ugly, dirty, and graceless. But on stage a raw, stabbing weapon of
passion. Life stripped naked. It doesn't matter if you love her or hate
her. She just is. Or was -- until life ate her.
There you have it. We're hard on women here. But we're hard on men,
too. We admire them both. When they live up to their promise.
Side Effects: Remote possibility of
increased emotional stability,
improved logical reasoning
capability, and reduced incidence of
violent psychotic breaks caused
by gender and ethnic hatreds.
QUIT MAKING FUN OF WOMEN, DAMMIT!
. First it was Sonia DeSoto's
broken ankle. Now it's Hillary's
broken elbow. Time to bone up on bones, ladies. Can you remember to
a month? Hard, I admit, but doable, don't you think? Yes, there are side
effects and, yes, it is
possible that they could destroy your careers by turning you into
rational human beings unfettered by seething resentments about
everything all those evil white men have always done to subjugate and
humiliate and ridicule and oppress you, but what the hey. At least you'd have a
chance to enter your golden years on your own two feet instead of a
geriatric scooter chair.
No? Well, we thought that's what you'd say. So we have a fallback
position. Maybe it's time to get a lot better at assault and battery.
We understand that Bill makes you mad enough to pop a vein, Hillary,
but there are ways to throw your elbows around without concluding the
hostilities in the emergency room.
won't even know what hit him. Cool, huh?
And, Sonia, it's vitally important for you to understand the exact
techniques those savage white trash gringos use to maim your ankles
when you dismiss their appeals without reading them. Forewarned is
forearmed, they say. Maybe you won't believe us, but you should be able
to find it in your heart to listen to Angel
, even if he does have
advice? Learn when to Tap Out, Sonia.
All right. Forget I said anything. It was just an idea. A lame idea.
By an evil old white man. So sue me. uh, forget that too. It was just a
figure of speech. Glass-boned biddies from Yale Law School may not know
how to execute a takedown without crippling themselves, but they sure
know how to sue any old bugger who irritates them. Forget the whole
Except the Boniva part. We'd really really like you to take that pill.
Is it just me?
... Or is $134 billion a LOT of money?
pic shows $206 million. That's 0.0015 of the total we're talking about
ARITHMETIC IS ALL WE CAN HANDLE
. Did you miss this story when it
crept into the MSM last week on little cat's feet? Probably. I saw it but then it vanished without a trace. The press
silence is almost as big a scandal as the facts, which are still
remarkably unclear. From today's Bloomberg
With $134 Billion Puts Dollar on Edge: William Pesek
June 17 (Bloomberg) -- It’s a plot better suited for a John Le Carre
Two Japanese men are detained in Italy after allegedly attempting to
take $134 billion worth of U.S. bonds over the border into Switzerland.
Details are maddeningly sketchy, so naturally the global rumor mill is
kicking into high gear.
Are these would-be smugglers agents of Kim Jong Il stashing North
Korea’s cash in a Swiss vault? Bagmen for Nigerian Internet scammers?
Was the money meant for terrorists looking to buy nuclear warheads? Is
Japan dumping its dollars secretly? Are the bonds real or counterfeit?
The implications of the securities being legitimate would be bigger
than investors may realize. At a minimum, it would suggest that the
U.S. risks losing control over its monetary supply on a massive scale.
The trillions of dollars of debt the U.S. will issue in the next couple
of years needs buyers. Attracting them will require making sure that
existing ones aren’t losing faith in the U.S.’s ability to control the
The dollar is, for better or worse, the core of our world economy and
it’s best to keep it stable. News that’s more fitting for international
spy novels than the financial pages won’t help that effort. It is
incumbent upon the U.S. Treasury to get to the bottom of this tale and
keep markets informed.
Think about it: These two guys were carrying the gross domestic product
of New Zealand or enough for three Beijing Olympics. If economies were
for sale, the men could buy Slovakia and Croatia and have plenty left
over for Mongolia or Cambodia. Yes, they could have built vacation
homes amidst Genghis Khan’s Gobi Desert or the famed Temples of Angkor.
Bernard Madoff who?
These men carrying bonds concealed in the bottom of their luggage also
would be the fourth-largest U.S. creditors. It makes you wonder if some
of the time Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner spends keeping the
Chinese and Japanese invested in dollars should be devoted to
well-financed men crossing the Italian-Swiss border.
This tale has gotten little attention in markets, perhaps because of
the absurdity of our times. The last year has been a decidedly
disorienting one for capitalists who once knew up from down, red from
black and risk from reward. It almost fits with the surreal nature of
today that a couple of travelers have more U.S. debt than Brazil in a
suitcase and, well, that’s life.
You can almost picture Tom Clancy sitting in his study thinking: “Damn!
Why didn’t I think of this yarn and novelize it years ago?” He could
have sprinkled in a Chinese angle, a pinch of Russian intrigue, a dose
of Pyongyang and a bit of Taiwan-Strait tension into the mix. Presto, a
Daniel Craig may be thinking this is a great story on which to base the
next James Bond flick. Perhaps Don Johnson could buy the rights to this
tale. In 2002, the “Miami Vice” star was stopped by German customs
officers as he was traveling in a car carrying credit notes and other
securities worth as much as $8 billion. Now he could claim it was all,
When I first heard of the $134 billion story, I was tempted to glance
at my calendar to make sure it didn’t read April 1.
Let’s assume for a moment that these U.S. bonds are real. That would
make a mockery of Japanese Finance Minister Kaoru Yosano’s “absolutely
unshakable” confidence in the credibility of the U.S. dollar. Yosano
would have some explaining to do about Japan’s $686 billion of U.S.
debt if more of these suitcase capers come to light.
Counterfeit $100 bills are one thing; two guys with undeclared bonds
including 249 certificates worth $500 million and 10 “Kennedy bonds” of
$1 billion each is quite another.
The bust could be a boon for Italy. If the securities are found to be
genuine, the smugglers could be fined 40 percent of the total value for
attempting to take them out of the country. Not a bad payday for a
government grappling with a widening budget deficit and rebuilding the
town of L’Aquila, which was destroyed by an earthquake in April.
It would be terrible news for the White House. Other than the U.S.,
China or Japan, no other nation could theoretically move those amounts.
In the absence of clear explanations coming from the Treasury,
conspiracy theories are filling the void.
On his blog, the Market Ticker, Karl Denninger wonders if the Treasury
“has been surreptitiously issuing bonds to, say, Japan, as a means of
financing deficits that someone didn’t want reported over the last, oh,
say 10 or 20 years.” Adds Denninger: “Let’s
hope we get those answers, and this isn’t one of those ‘funny things’
that just disappears into the night.”
This is still a story with far more questions than answers. It’s odd, though, that it’s not garnering
more media attention. Interest is likely to grow. The last thing
Geithner and Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke need right now is
tens of billions more of U.S. bonds -- or even high-quality fake ones
-- suddenly popping up around the globe.
Huh? What? $134 billion
? In a suitcase? I
mean, that adds up to some real money. Where's the network news? Where
are the 24/7 cable news channels? Where's the front page of the New York
Times? The Washington Post? Talking about slutty flight attendants and old-lady fractures.
I mean. WTF
Do any of you