Instapun*** Archive Listing

Archive Listing
October 30, 2008 - October 23, 2008

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Pssst. Landslide?

No, I'm not predicting. Just suggesting a possibility that can't be ruled out. McCain by a landslide. It's a way of realizing just how aberrant the current situation is with regard to the press and the polls.

With the mainstream media openly rooting for Barack Obama, we can't trust the usual media outlets -- meaning the only ones who are capable of doing actual reporting, whether they do it or not -- which also means that we would have no way of knowing it if this race had turned dramatically around since the advent of Joe the Plumber, voter registration fraud, Biden's curious and reckless moment of honesty about the risk of electing a neophyte to the presidency, and the rumblings from Pelosi, Frank et al about the tax-and-spend agenda of a congressional supermajority. All of these constitute what would, in other years, be called damaging 'October Surprises'. But not this year. Unless they are and we just don't know it. How could we?

Well, we'd have no way of knowing it without the polls. But here's the most, maybe the only, interesting statistic about the polls:

[T]he rising number of refusals — those who refuse to participate in telephone polling — make the predictive value of electoral polling more questionable than ever before. Michael Medved said that some pollsters report refusal levels as high as 80%.

80 percent? 80 percent???

Who is it that's refusing? People who have figured out that the MSM has replaced all actual reporting on Obama with space-fillers and propaganda about how McCain has already lost the election? Maybe. Refusing to participate in the creation of poll stories that have obviously become a camouflage for the absence of stories about Jeremiah Wright, Bill Ayers, criminal campaign fund-raising schemes, and Obama's clearly Marxist bent may represent the only form of resistance left to an electorate that's learned even speaking out against the One is to court the smear of racism -- and worse, if Joe the Plumber's experience is any indication.

Various political experts, including conservative bloggers, have been pooh-poohing the McCain campaign's Joe the Plumber fixation, specifically the "I'm Joe the Plumber" spots the McCain camp doesn't really have enough money to blanket the country with.

But what if ordinary Americans don't even need those ads to feel such a sentiment? What if this whole episode represents such a basic transgression of the American ethos that it was internalized by millions within hours of the first MSM attempts to eviscerate a man who dared to ask the messiah a question from his own front lawn? What if?

How would we know that? We wouldn't. The MSM wouldn't track down the signs that such a sea change had occurred. It doesn't fit their narrative. The pollsters wouldn't necessarily pick it up, either. By definition, a hang-up on a pollster doesn't feed into poll results except as an asterisk.

When the press stops reporting to engage in pure propaganda, they cut themselves off from the information that might otherwise prevent them from making a horrendous mistake. That's exactly where we are as a nation right now. We don't have a free press at this moment in time. Which means the truth could be absolutely anything and they wouldn't know it. And we wouldn't know it.

As I said, I'm not predicting a McCain landslide. But I am saying there's at least reason to hope for it. And there's nothing in any of the media coverage that can refute me.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Somebody pinch me.

TROY. When I was very young, I toyed with the notion that slavery was the Original Sin of the United States. That somehow the fact we had tolerated it for however long would bring us down. Then I became a student of history. I learned that we weren't the first or the worst in this category of sin. I came to believe that the terrible price we had paid to undo the crime committed at our founding might constitute a sufficient atonement.

There's a lesson for you. Sometimes an ignorant kid knows more than an educated adult. Now that I'm approaching old age I have learned that it can be harder for a good man to forgive a sin in his past than for a bad man to forget an entire life devoted to murder and greed. That's where we are right now. The piper is about to be paid. He has come calling with his bill, dog-eared and yellow and presented by an arrant faker, but it doesn't matter because we remember the debt and have been waiting so long to pay it that we don't even care to ask the collector for his provenance.

Obama isn't the messiah. He's the punishment a good man keeps waiting for while everyone else just moves on in placid forgetfulness. Is it justice that the good pay a higher price for their sins than the bad? Maybe. But in dramatic terms it's invariably a tragedy. Because it always entails a catastrophe that could have been avoided and somehow wasn't.

If we're living out the plot of a play by Sophocles, there's no point in trying to avoid it. What will come is already decreed by fate and there's no point in dragging an adding machine into the story. But if we're really just play-acting a dimly remembered myth, then it might be instructive to hear the machinery noises of the adding machine as it grinds out the line items of the ancient bill we're so determined to pay. Here are some particulars you might want to take note of on the invoice.

This election was always about race and nothing but. Obama was born of the radical sixties, the offspring of an academic Marxist whose preferred form of rebellion was marrying a Marxist Kenyan for the purpose of pissing off her Kansas parents. Her son wasn't an African-American in terms of slave ancestry, but she made him an African-American by force of will and sinister intention. He never had any choice in the matter. He was raised to be a weapon by the same forces which molded Bill Ayers, Jeremiah Wright, Louis Ferrakhan ad Saul Alinski. Without his identity as a viper in the bosom of America, Obama would have no identity at all. He has lived his entire life not as a man but as a symbol. Only a symbol writes an autobiography before he has actually lived a life.

Columbia and Harvard accepted a symbol into their student bodies. Harvard Law School selected a symbol to be editor of the Harvard Law Review, which is why they never expected him to publish an article and why he never published one. Michelle Obama, that unhappy Princetonian, married a symbol. The Reverend Wright adopted and groomed a symbol. William Ayers instructed and promoted a symbol. The Chicago political machine tolerated a symbol that greased its gears where gears need exactly the right kind of grease. And now the mass media have publicized, and endlessly protected, a symbol they'd prefer to a flesh-and-blood American president.

And this where the disbelief comes in. The American people are about to elect a mere symbol as President of the United States. Think about this. Collectively, the American people know a lot. They know about media bias, as all the polls indicate. They know about the economic danger of handing the country over to a Democrat president and a Democrat congress, which is why they haven't done it once in the 30 years since the post-Watergate tantrum that put Jimmy Carter in the White House.They know that the world outside America is a nasty, treacherous place where reason and good intentions don't count for much, which is why they reelected George W. Bush in 2004 despite his many missteps and worldwide unpopularity. But these aren't the factors driving them now.

Now, what has bubbled up from the depths is a desire for a reckoning. They want to lance the boil of race in America, and they're willing to pay any price to get it done. The American people know a lot, even if they underestimate the costs of their preferences. They know that there will be race riots if Obama loses -- and if Obama wins. They know he is not qualified to be president and that's okay with them because after Obama we won't have to go through this siege of political correctness and waiting and endless imputations of general racism again. They think they can pay the price of putting this damn racial issue behind them once and for all.

Maybe they can. But I doubt it. Sometimes, lancing a boil simply spreads the infection. That's what will happen this time. The presidency of Barack Obama will be a fatal blow to race relations in the United States. Because for all the agreement that he's a symbol, precious few have bothered to ask what he's a symbol of. He's a symbol of race hatred. He's prepared to torpedo the Constitution, the capitalist system, U.S. foreign policvy, Israel, and the nation itself to wreak his vengeance on the white people who denied him an identity of his own. That's the scariest part. To Barack Obama, this election is about Barack Obama, not the United States of America.

Sarah Palin had it right when she said at the Convention, "The presidency isn't about a voyage of personal discovery."

Lance the boil? Goodbye freedom of speech. Goodbye secret ballots in union elections. Goodbye Supreme Court justices who read and treasure the actual Constitution. Goodbye babies. Goodbye Israel. Goodbye the U.S. military. Goodbye America.

Original Sin. How much do you want to be punished? And why have you decided to forget the New Adam, the (real) One who taught us that the past really can be the past, unless you're an empty symbol of vengeance? Time is running out. Would you really trade your birthright for a mess of pottage? It begins to look like you would.

I know it's considered polite to offer alternatives to catastrophe. I can think of only two.

1. Could each voter take a moment to look at Obama the man, not the symbol?

2.  Could somebody please fuck Michelle Obama to a screaming orgasm?

Neither alternative seems very likely, but either one might save the day. Truthfully, Number Two is the more urgent priority. If we're going to pay eight years of penance, I'd feel better about it if the First Lady at least had a contented smile on her face.

Such great matters of moment come down to such tiny details. That's why the look on my face right now can only be called...


UPDATE.  Even Mrs. IP is mad at me about this one. She says it's juvenile. She's right. To which I reply the entire election process has become juvenile. This is  nothing compared to what has been done to Sarah Palin in these past two months. The MSM wanted to do an internal exam on the Republican Vice Presidiential candidate. So I'm not supposed to fight fire with fire. It's much much better to go down tamely to defeat in gentlemanly fashion. Lose the country? Sure. Lose our freedoms? Sure. Jettison the Constitution because the wife had an unfortunate experience at fucking Princeton? Sure. As long as we don't invade the modesty of a woman who hates all of us. Good. Fine. Great, in fact. I love it that the New York Times can do a hit piece on Cindy McKain, that the entire media can put Sarah Palin virtually in the sturrups and look inside her uterus with complete aplomb, and if I dare to suggest that it's a matter of national moment that Michelle Obama isn't getting laid enough, I'm some kind of a cad.

Guess what. If it could save this nation from an Obama presidency, I'd show you Michelle's home videso with Barry and the gardener, her yeast test, and her napkin on the 28th day. If women want to be part of ruling the country, it's not enough that they're willing to show their breasts to Snoop Dogg on Spring Break. There are no secret parts of manhood when it comes to politics. If the nation's press can devote a million man-hours to lifting Sara Palin's skirt, I can devote 30 seconds to lifting Michelle Obama's. Because her nasty attitude looks to have more of a potential negative effect on the country than Sarah Palin's happy marriage and Down syndrome baby.

So there.

Mrs. IP is always free to comment, post, and otherwise provoke "he who crushes all opposition." She probably will. My position, though, is a simple one. Put yourself in the public eye as a campaigner, tell the American people you aren't proud of the land of your birth, and then suppress all speculation about why you look like a cold, hard, vicious bitch. Not going to happen.

It's just that I'm the only one who has the guts to connect the dots. (uh, they're black, you know. Oooooh.) But it's not polite to make reference to anything that happens 'down there,' right? Well. Maybe. I'll buy that as soon as some woman explains to me how their pubic hair wound up on the chins of major league baseball players and other cartoon dudes. One or two times seems like carelessness. Seven hundred thousand times begins to seem like immodesty.

Immodesty serves politicians when it does. Modesty serves politicians when it does. I'm still waiting to hear that modesty has anything at all to do with the female sex when it comes to politics. My opinion? They'd breastfeed the nation at Yankee Stadium if it would get them or their husbands elected.

Okay, honey. Let fly.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Phillies Fever:
Emergency Luck Bailout

All emergency situations ultimately become resource issues. What's yours?

FLASHBACKS ARE A BITCH. Since Game 4 of the World Series ended last night around midnight, Philadelphia Sports Fan-in-Chief (Governor) Ed Rendell has been leading a desperate emergency effort to counteract the wave of jinxing behavior that's sweeping through the Delaware Valley. As local SportsTalk radio hosts and print columnists were openly celebrating the "inevitable" Series victory to come in Game 5, planning parades and conducting post-mortems on the failed Tampa Bay team's performance, thousands of grim-faced first-responders were rolling into action under Rendell's direction.

In a brief, anguished statement released early this morning, the Governor ("The Gov") said, "I cannot overemphasize the danger presently facing us. This is Philadelphia we're talking about. This is the city whose professional football team has lost in the closing seconds to more improbable field goals of 50 yards and longer than any other team in NFL history. If her team were tied with the Eagles with two ticks left on the clock, a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader could boot a 56 yard winning field goal blindfolded. This is the city which took five years to win a World Series with a team boasting the greatest pitcher, the greatest power hitter, and the most gifted center fielder of their generation, as well as the all-time major-league leader in base hits. There is literally no end of things that can go wrong for a Philadelphia sports team. That's why I've been compelled by circumstances to call out the Pennsylvania National Guard and numerous other state agency and volunteer personnel in response."

Even as he was speaking, hundreds of Guard trucks were on the road, delivering hundreds of thousands of rabbits feet to state highway salt storage huts where volunteers who had removed the salt (while throwing abundant amounts of it over their shoulder) were waiting to start rubbing them for luck. The Pennsylvania Air National Guard was also mobilized, pressed into service to drop millions of four-leaf clovers over the imperiled City of Brotherly Love. Emergency broadcast channels normally used by police, the Turnpike Authority, and the state weather service were transmitting pleas, via AM and cable media, to Delaware Valley citizens beseeching them to "knock wood" continuously through the end of the Series. The state's 911 operators were also being diverted from answering calls about fires and heart attacks to dialing radio stations with demands to "shut the hell up about how the Phillies have it in the bag." Additionally, the state's mounted police were all being ordered back to their stables to gather up loose horseshoes and arrange them in the "full upright position" required to capture and "hold" good luck. Hundreds of state troopers were reassigned from patrol duties to stand guard over individual members of the Phillies team and front-office organization and prevent them from walking under ladders, breaking mirrors, and doing anything involving the number thirteen. The Governor temoprarily attached all other state emergency personnel to the Philadelphia animal control department, with orders to "detain" all black cats "for the duration," so they wouldn't be able to cross the path of a Phillies fan.

By mid-morning a "crisis website" had been established on-line detailing the many signs that the Phillies luck was doomed to run out. Highlights (lowlights) included the fact that this past weekend may have been the greatest in Philadelphia sports history, featuring two Flyers wins in two days, an Eagles victory in a game they were favored to win (??!! Damn !!??), and two Phillies World Series wins in one day. And then there's what might be if the Phillies win Game 5...

Pitcher Cole Hamels would set a WS record by winning five (5) post-season starts

The Phillies would tie a WS record by having won all of their post-season home games

A Philadelphia team would win a World Championship without a single heartbreaking blunder en route.

"These things just aren't possible," the Governor warns on the site. "Not in this system of reality as we know it."

The "Gov" after one of his numerous losing sports bets with other
 city/state politicians. This one concerned the Flyers & Red Wings.

Thus, the waiting game begins. The Countdown to Catastrophe with which all Philadelphians are intimately familiar -- even if they are momentarily crazed with denial.

Including us. It's a lock. Phillies in Five.

Knock wood.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Nobody Home

The empty American newsroom.

GET READY. No blather from me today because I've got three "must read" pieces by other people I want you to read every word of.

These will fire you up and prepare you to run the gauntlet of the final two weeks of the campaign.

The Palin Wardrobe

The dirtiest Palin secret: she's sexy. Something about the joy.

MEN RULE. This is the "scandal" that let the dogs out. For weeks I've been wrapping my head in wet towels trying to noodle out the reason lefty (and some righty) women hate Palin so very much. Why she seems to unhinge them to such an astonishing degree. The flap over her $150,000 wardrobe budget just cut though all the crap to the truth of it. They hate her because she's sexy.

It really is that simple. It's not that she's managed to have a career, including being elected Governor of Alaska. It's not that she's given birth to five children without wanting an abortion. It's not that she espouses traditional conservative values like pistol-grop shotguns. It's not that she's become a vice presidential candidate without a degree in womanitude from Radcliffe, Smith, Barnard, or Wellesley. It's that she won a beauty contest long ago and could still win one today. It's that in spite of an accent that makes her sound like Herb's wife on WKRP in Cincinnati, she's a 44 year old mother of five who still has it, whatever it is. She's every insecure career woman's nightmare. She has it all -- success, family, a long-term marriage, happiness -- and she's still hotter than Britney Spears for a huge percentage of men in America. That's why they HATE her so very very VERY much.

Think about this. Would anyone really care if Madlyn Albright spent $150,000 on her ridiculously short-skirted suits as Secretary of State? No. Does anyone mind the fact that Hillary's pantsuits cost $6000 apiece? No. Has anyone even asked how much Nancy Pelosi spends on her fem-power wardrobe? No. (In fact, the MSM are mysteriously uninterested in Nancy fashion.) Then why would we be scandalized about Palin's wardrobe?

Several reasons. First, because she didn't have it in the first place. She came this far in life without a thermonuclear weapon in her closet and shoe rack. She was happy before she got 150 grand in threads. HATE, HATE, HATE. Second, she doesn't even seem to care. No matter what she's wearing, she just seems to shine. In spite of all the low, vile, obscene attacks on her, she's obviously having tremendous fun on the campaign trail. Her self-esteem doesn't depend on aping the fashions of Desperate Housewives or Sex in the City. She's just herself, all the time, and she even makes jokes about stretch marks and breastfeeding. That's precisely why men find her so incredibly alluring and why women who have tried obsessively to have "everything" and don't HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE her.

And there's an even nastier truth underlying all this. Pay close attention. The women who HATE, HATE her so much know that any woman who can do and have everything while remaining sexually magnetic and personally happy can, indeed, step up to the presidency of the United States on a moment's notice and do just fine. That's not as hard as what she's already done. And that's the biggest reason of all that they HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE her.

Here's the crime Sarah Palin has committed. She's successful, happy, and drop-dead gorgeous all at the same time. It's unforgivable. That's why so many of her detractors keep repeating the lie that she and Tina Fey look so much alike. They don't. Tina Fey looks like the miserable ambitious bitch she is. Sarah Palin looks like a liberated woman running free in the defensive secondary of life. And she probably understands that metaphor better than Tina Fey, too.

As a final note, I'll try to be discreet in pointing out that a lot of the conservative women who also despise Palin for exactly the same reasons are men. Technically anyway. If you know what I mean.

Enough said.

UPDATE. Two additional bytes of data courtesy of National Review. First a perverse, if not perverted, confirmation of this post's conclusion in the latest creepy column by Kathleen Parker. (No, I won't quote it here. Read it yourself.) Then, a short parable of unknown origin quoted by NRO's Lisa Schiffren:

So, Sarah Palin's advisors decide that it is time for her to meet a bunch of serious world leaders. They head to Europe, where, first up, she has an appointment with the Pope. The Pope and some of his Cardinals invite her for a boat ride on the Tiber. As they are sitting in the gondola talking, a wind starts up and blows the Pope's hat into the water. Palin looks around and realizes that no one is going to do anything about it, so she calmy rises, takes off her her high heels, and steps off the side of the boat. Instead of diving into the water, however, she walks across it, to the hat,  picks it up and walks back across the water to the boat. She climbs in, hands the Pope his hat and continues discussing whatever it was they had been talking about. The Cardinals are open mouthed in astonishment at what they have just seen. The news media, in nearby boats are busy discussing among themselves how to report it. Headlines the next day at the New York Times, The Washington Post and the networks all blare: "New Revelation: Sarah Palin Can't Swim." [H/T Al Hurley]

Have a productive weekend, everybody.

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