May 20, 2007 - May 13, 2007
Friday, May 18, 2007
La Cuenta de
futuro glorioso de Los Ángeles.
. Los conservadores son locos como una gallina mojada
sobre la cuenta de inmigración esto saca actualmente su camino
por delante de la frontera de cordura en la ley de la tierra. No hay
ningún texto actual aún, pero esto es la parte de lo que
hace el proceso corrupto entero tan perfeccione. Los senadores y los
miembros del Congreso de ambos partidos pueden afirmar que la cuenta es
lo que ellos necesitan que esto para ser satisfaga a sus componentes,
voto para ello, y luego culpe cualquier enfermo consecuencias en
provisiones que ellos no podían haber visto posiblemente en el
momento de su voto porque nada había sido anotado entonces. Esto
parece que debería trabajar para cada uno.
Hay sólo un problema, y esto es uno grande. Tan grande que esto
es la razón presentamos este en español. Todo usted los
emigrantes ilegales realmente tienen que tomar la nota de lo que
continúa en las mentes febriles de conservadores ahora mismo. Si
su magnífico plan trabaja, los perdedores más grandes de
todos serán finalmente usted, sus familias inmediatas, y las
decenas de miles de parásitos ociosos que usted apoya
atrás en México.
El abogado más vocal de este plan es el Ace of Spades
, a quien
usted nunca ha oído de porque él escribe exclusivamente
en inglés. Aquí está lo que él impulsa a
cada uno a hacer:
Aquí está mi Alarma de
Acción Importante oficial:
Cada Republicano que considera este un éxito de taquilla
debería, dentro de la próxima semana (el más
rápido mejor) cambian su afiliación de partido "del
Republicano" a algo más...
Una ola gigante de Republicanos que cambian su afiliación a
Indpendent, Libertario, Reforma, Partido de Constitución,
infierno, hasta Demócratas agarrará su atención
bastante maldita rápido.
Las llamadas y los correos electrónicos y las cartas no
La decadencia repentina de Republicanos certificados en el 50 % no
¿Tiene usted la imaginación de entender qué este
podría significar? Probablemente no, pero trataremos de
explicar. Cuando la mitad de los Republicanos abandona el partido y
rechaza votar a favor de los candidatos que los engañaron, los
Estados Unidos se caerán completamente en las manos de los
Demócratas, que ganan tanto presidencia como mayorías
overwelming en el Senado y Casa. Ellos también se harán
automáticamente responsables de todo lo incorrecto en el
país. Y cuando la inundación de la inmigración
ilegal incontrolada sigue y crece - usted de toda la gente sabe que
este es exactamente lo que pasará - los gastos que se
intensifican de su asistencia médica libre, educación
libre, sus cuadrillas juveniles violentas, su no pago de impuestos, y
las burocracias bilingües requeridas fingir que el gobierno
contiene de alguna manera sus miserias alcanzará
rápidamente un punto de ruptura. ¿Qué pasa
Desastre. Eso es en que la mayoría Democrática aplastante
realizará que ellos no necesitan sus votos más. Y ellos
realizarán que ellos pueden culparle sin peligro para todo que
esto se equivoca, incluso su propio gasto excesivo, su propio fracaso
de proteger la seguridad nacional, y su propia inhabilidad de extraer
cualquier clase de la productividad de las burocracias del gobierno
enormes que ellos viven para crear.
Usted se hará parias. Los demagogos más talentosos del
partido de demagogos le apuntarán. Y los Estados Unidos de
América recordarán de repente que si bastantes personas
quieren que ello pase, realmente es posible deportar a todos ustedes
atrás a landfull vacío del apoyo del que usted
Por supuesto, usted no se preocupa por ninguno de este. Aún.
Pero usted no es solo. La gente americana en conjunto no se preocupa
bastante por ninguno de este. Aún.
De este modo, mientras usted se sienta allí y exige la lista
larga de derechos usted no nació con, pero piensa que usted ha
robado con éxito por el magnífico acto de revelar, el
más elegante de usted debería esperar que este fraude
colosal de una cuenta no pase y el plan del As no tiene que ser puesto
en práctica en la venganza. Por último no hay
ningún almuerzo libre. Tal vez hoy, mañana, y el
próximo año hay. Pero la cantidad debida sigue haciendo
más grande si usted lo paga o no, y allí vendrá un
día cuando el cobrador viene llamando a su puerta con una tropa
enojada detrás de él.
¿Nadie más le dice esto? Bien, intentamos.
PARA EL INGLÉS DEL SUDOESTE.
PARA EL INGLÉS ESTÁNDAR.
Lose the desk.
THE GHOST OF WALTER
Katie Couric is getting lots of bad advice these days. Sure, the ratings
It surely wasn't what CBS dreamed about
when Katie Couric was hired: the "CBS Evening News" last week recorded
its smallest audience since and probably many years before that.
It also didn't help that the average of 6.05 million viewers came at
the beginning of the important May ratings "sweeps."
[ABC's] "World News" averaged 8.1 million viewers last week (5.7
rating, 12 share). NBC's "Nightly News" had 7.5 million viewers, its
fourth- lowest figure since at least 1987 (5.3, 12), and CBS had a 4.3
rating and 9 share. The year 1987 is a benchmark because that's when
Nielsen began using its "people meter" technology.
What's more concerning than the raw data is the lamebrain
interpretation of the reason for Katie's failure by some
I'm just surprised at how, almost 30
years after I worked on the "Evening News" as the first woman producer,
that Katie is having such a tough time being accepted by the public,
which seems to prefer the news from white guys, and now that Charlie's
doing so well, from older white guys. I guess they want the reassurance
of a Walter Cronkite.
I had no idea that a woman delivering the news would be a handicap. And
I'm afraid that Katie's paying a price for being the first woman.
If you want to understand the news preferences of "older white guys,"
don't ask a female news producer. The truth is, older white guys -- and
guys of every age and color -- are not watching the MSM network news
programs at all anymore. They've migrated elsewhere. If you add up the
total audience for the alphabet network news shows, it comes in at less
than 22 million souls. That's in a nation of 300 million people.
Pitiful. Maybe older people are all you can hope to attract, but even
if this is
fading demographic, the current approach is doomed to failure. Katie
needs to stop listening to the octogenarian dinosaurs that have ruled
CBS since Cronkite went deaf and started preaching to the world from
his own inner voices, which are every bit as stupid as you'd expect to
hear from a stentorian teleprompter reader who spent 30 years believing
his own press clippings.
The world doesn't want Cronkite. Even in his heyday he was an
overpraised accident of new technology. Now he's just another ham who
doesn't know that the best way to keep people from thinking you a fool
is to shut up before you prove it in print.
So -- as a certifiable "older white guy" -- let me offer Katie some
advice. We've been around for quite a long time, much longer than you.
Regardless of how low an opinion of us you have, we're alert to the
fact that you -- and clothes horse Peter Jennings, and
not-a-clothes-horse Charles Gibson, and handsome Brian Williams (God
bless his perfectly tanned heart) -- are JUST READING THE NEWS. On TV.
Heavens to Betsy, Katie. Do you think we missed all those years of you
on the Today Show, where you did your best to extemporize about the hot
topics of the day? Do you really think we missed the fact that you're a
spoiled, infantile, half-educated celebrity narcissist who obsesses
about "the kids" in a last-ditch attempt to preserve some vestige of
femininity? (And we refuse to mention the colonoscopy...)
Sorry. We noticed. Even those of us who caught you only by inadvertent
accident, in hotel rooms where the only morning choices were your
program or Diane Sawyer's.
I know this is a particularly bitter pill, but a lot of us older guys
are hanging out at the Fox News Channel, where there are two things to
attract us. First, not every single scrap and scintilla of news is
designed to depict the United States of America as the most evil nation
on earth, presided over by the dumbest man who ever drew breath.
Second, the enormous lot of bad news that constitutes all news programs
is mitigated by the use of quite good
to READ THE NEWS with a smile and a suspenseful
application of female anatomy.
For example, there's a woman named Laurie Dhue who, for years,
delivered snippets of news that earned more attention than your giant
anchor desk at CBS could ever garner. Why? Because she eschewed the
Would a desk really improve this
Then there's the question of openness.
Fox News pioneered a new kind of female news personality, one that
never tried to be a distaff version of Eric Severaid, but a warm and
welcoming figure. First there was E.D. Donahay, who started as a
morning news hostess (sound familiar?) and went on to other things.
She stormed onto the morning scene.
Once again, note the absence of a desk. She was replaced by another
up-and-comer named Kieran Chetry, who quickly moved on to a big
contract at CNN, for much the same reasons:
wanted her. Bad. They just didn't know what to do with her. Typical.
She also had a way of reaching out to the audience that the CBS Evening
News could learn from.
Has Katie ever looked this, uh,
It begins to look as if CNN doesn't know
to make use of Kieran's assets any better than CBS knows how to make
use of Katie's, but Fox News soldiers on. The latest rising star is
Gretchen Carlson, who has proven that she too knows what it means to be
She doesn't want to, really, but she
to. It's a woman thing.
Nor does she deprive her beleaguered
audience of comfort.
we know about the MSM snobbery. Maybe Katie and her producers can't
bring themselves to learn from Fox News. Sad if it's true, but
nevertheless a factor to be dealt with. In that case, learn from Diane
Sawyer, who never needed a lesson of any kind from the most successful
24/7 cable news station in history. She always knew the advantages of
dispensing with a leviathan desk.
No desk at ABC.
With obvious benefits.
And being an enlightened, secularist
liberal, Diane has also far surpassed the very limited Fox News
capability to offer succor to her fans.
All in all, it's not too late for Katie. Yeah, she's not the sexiest
news broad on TV, but if the audience is older guys, the good news is
they're not as obsessed with pure looks as the younger fellas. Attitude
counts for a lot. It's just barely possible that they might forget the colonoscopy nightmare
if Katie can soften up a bit and quit acting like so much of a
A little cleavage and some artfully presented pantyhose cover a
multitude of sins. If you're interested in ratings. But so far the
evidence suggests CBS isn't interested in ratings as much as excuses.
Monday, May 14, 2007
El Cristada declares Holy Crusade.
South Park creators Matt Stone &
Trey Parker were the first to die.
Apparently, Rosie O'Donnell was right. Fundamentalist Christians are
just as dangerous as
fundamentalist Islamists. (as Glenn Reynolds correctly speculated
They're just slower getting started. An Oklahoma oil billionaire named
Orrin Bob Liddell has recently founded a revolutionary Christian sect
in Baja California dedicated to the establishment of a theocratic
government of the entire earth. OBL, as he prefers to be called, has
declared a Holy Crusade against all the other religions of the world,
including Islam, Judaism, Hinduism, Buddhism, Taorism, Shintoism, the
Church of Scientology, Mormons, the Jehovah's Witnesses, and a wayward
Christian denomination called 'al Cristada.'
The first order of business for OBL's new organization -- El
Cristada -- is carrying out
sentences of death on the most egregious heretics of the Christian
faith. OBL has already let out contracts on Andres Serrano, the artist
responsible for the 'Piss Christ'; Cosimo Cavallaro, the artist who
sculpted 'My Sweet Lord' (the chocolate Jesus); Opie Bill Ledeen of al
of the Satanic TV show South Park
Matt Stone and Trey Parker.
The Crusaders are pretty much fed up
with artists like these.
"These blasphemers will be the first to die," OBL announced in a press
release simulcast on El Cristada Satellite TV, "but they won't be the
last. It is time the infidels paid for their sins. God in his great
majesty has seen fit to endow the most righteous of his flock with
nuclear weaons, and these divine instruments of God will be employed to
separate the wheat from the chaff, the believers from the unbelievers.
The infidels of Araby will perish in sulphurous flame, as was foretold
in the Book of Revelation, and the men, women, and children who
participate in the destruction of heretic faiths will be rewarded in
heaven with the blessed suffering of eternal stigmata exemplifying the
transcendent suffering of our Lord,Jesus Chist. Yea, even the smallest
children will be willing to sacrifice their earthly lives for the glory
of an eternity spent bleeding from the hands, feet, and side, as did
our beneficent savior."
Reportedly, the first victims of El Cristada's crusade were Matt Stone
and Trey Parker, originators of what OBL terms the "incomprehensibly
evil testament known as 'South Park.'" A video depicting the violent
beheading of Stone and Parker was released to the Fox News Channel,
which aired it in response to threats that failure to do so would
result in the kidnapping and beheading of the Girls of
, the nation's only source of breaking news fairly balanced
between T &
In a series of press kits and multimedia internet productions, El
Cristada is also promising to inflict "the Lord's vengeance on the
secular academic establishment, Jim Carrey, Marxist atheists in the
artistic community, Godless millionaire sluts like Britney and Paris,
Jimmy Carter, Richard Dawkins, Americans who belong to the Democrat
Party or who have had abortions, Barbra Streisand and Sean Penn,
Europeans who love government more than their divine savior, Asians in
general, Rosie O'Donnell, the Taliban, al Qaeda, that Iranian Hitler
Guy, the Icelandic people (just because), the Dixie Chicks, and
every non-Christian man, woman, and child who lives within two thousand miles of the
Bible's Holy Land."
A spokesman for the Department of Homeland Security said, "Our concern
about OBL and El Cristada is 'Elevated' bordering on 'High,' due to the
fact that he possesses the money and the organization to develop and
deliver nuclear weapons in about a week and a half. That's why we're monitoring the situation so closely. If we can establish for a fact that Orrin Liddell is not an illegal alien from Mexico, as has been alleged, we will proceed to take him into custody. Otherwise, we will be forced to briefly detain and then release him, as we do all potential allies of our party.
However, Senator Charles Schumer of New York downplayed the threat
posed by El Cristada. "Everyone knows that Christians are total
idiots," he said. "Being worried about terroristic attacks from El
Cristada is about as stupid as taking al Qaeda seriously. Nobody really
wants to kill innocent people but Republicans, and we can handle them
So don't worry.