Instapun*** Archive Listing

Archive Listing
September 9, 2005 - September 2, 2005

Friday, September 09, 2005

It's You They Trust
Well, there has been no word from InstaPunk -- we hope he is okay.

We thought we would direct your attention today to Robert Tracinski's editorial for The Intellectual Activist that should be entitled, Welfare State Failure, but instead is entitled, An Unnatural Disaster: A Hurricane Exposes the Man-Made Disaster of the Welfare State. Read the whole thing HERE.

He highlights the mental lethargy induced upon those who rely on the government for answers to their problems. We thought it a proper tonic for all who rely on government promises. From the lowest on the economic ladder to the top.

The New Orleans disaster is filled with private enterprise vs. public enterprise solutions to problems. Whether you contrast the failure of Mayor Nagin to use public school buses to evacuate his citizens with the hotels (private) banding together to charter buses -- out of their own pockets -- to evacuate their guests; the misery of Charity (public) Hospital with Tulane Medical Center (private) across the street; or the harbor police (public) heading to higher ground with Israeli security firms (private) watching over the more fotunates' stuff -- the preference is apparent.

So, as you watch the machine pour out the solutions to avoiding such a crisis in the future, know that no one will be proposing smaller public works, smaller bureaucracies, or making self-reliance an integral part of public policy. Rather, we will hear the same old things -- bigger/more/increased public works. Simply -- more and bigger promises.

Thursday, September 08, 2005


FUTBOL. We've had altogether too much excitement lately here in the U.S. of A. Apart from drugs, where can we turn for some calming influence that reduces the heart rate, blood pressure, and neural activity? Sad to say, there aren't many fishing shows on TV these days, and who wants to look at a lot of still water right now, anyway? But the good news is that God in his infinite wisdom gave us the most ferociously popular sport in the world to divert us at times just like these. What could be better for generalized flood anxiety than a game consisting of two or three 45 minute halves in which NOTHING EVER HAPPENS, EVER?

No wonder the pansy Europeans look forward to the World Cup year after year, and start rioting long before the super athletes on their national squads fight their way to a nil-nil tie. No wonder the rest of the world has come to idolize the sissies in short pants who run up and down the 100 by 200 meter field and back again, occasionally connecting with that kickball thing in prodigious arcs that go all the way to the fairy goalie who makes sure that NOTHING HAPPENS EVER.

You see? All the other countries of the world know how to exist in a state of artificial reality in which there are no responsibilities, no problems, no consequences, no worries because NOTHING HAPPENS EVER.

So , in the spirit of global serenity, we offer you the best news of the day, the drive of the best nation on earth, Scotland, toward victory in the World Cup:

Norway 1 - 2 Scotland

Hang on to your hats, boys, Scotland's World Cup campaign is still alive. This near-miraculous [Ed: somebody SCORED] affair in Oslo last night, a thrilling match in which the Scots throttled Norway with two first-half goals from Kenny Miller, means Group 5 is not yet the graveyard where Walter Smith's hopes of reaching Germany next summer are supposed to rest.

Smith enjoyed one of those baffling nights of international football, when confidence and excellence were suddenly strewn throughout his team. Having started efficiently, Norway were traumatised to find themselves two goals down inside half an hour. From this point, naturally, self-belief started coursing through Scottish legs as Smith's team asserted much midfield composure.

Midfield composure! That's what we need. In the bad old days, a meeting between Norway and Scotland would have resulted in beheadings, disembowellings, rapes, and enough arson to make California wildfires seem like marshmallow roasts. Now we have a somnolent interval marked only by fights in the stands and deranged announcers who live for the remote chance of being able to yell "G-O-O-O-O-O-O-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-L!" once or twice a year. What could be better?  If you want to calm down to a state resembling coma, then all you have to do is click here.

The other great thing is that this entry will always be here. Whenever you or your loved ones are about to stroke out over looters who aren't getting properly shot to death or the newest pinnacle of evil achieved by a president who doesn't measure up to Pierce Brosnan's exacting standards, come here and cool out.

You're welcome. Just remember that this is a service you'll never get from Instapundit or Hugh Hewitt. Why? Because we care. And they're just partisan pricks.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Katrina Miscellany

THE LIBERAL FAITH. We'd love to play the blame game like everyone else, but we put in our two cents about it while everyone else was still setting up the gameboard and laying out the pieces. So we'll stand on what we think is still a winner of a preemptive strike.

Besides, so much is happening, and everyone else is so determined to be dour and depressed that we thought we'd try to concentrate on more positive stories. For example, the U.S. House of Representatives' Video Services Department -- unlike other parts of the federal government -- has moved at lightning speed to produce this dramatization of Dennis Hastert's much ballyhooed redevelopment plan for New Orleans. The Speaker has proposed that while flood waters are still high, U.S. Air Force bombers should release millions of tons of powdered cement over the city. When it joins with the water and hardens, Presto! New Orleans will have brand new streets and plenty of seating space.

That Hastert guy sure has vision.

There's especially good news from the American Red Cross, which has already taken in more than $200 million in donations since Katrina struck. Provided giving continues at the current pace for a few more weeks, the organization is confident it will be able to fund a six-month cruise around the world for all its managing directors -- on the glorious new Queen Mary 2. I'm sure we're all pulling for them to make their goal.

ALL ABOARD!!! The Red Cross has struck it rich this time!

We're also pleased to report that our spate of worry about Greta van Susteren is at an end. When the hurricane pushed every other news story out of the headlines, we feared that Greta would become as invisible as, say, Chris Matthews at MSNBC. A sorry fate for such a plucky wench. We should have had more faith. Greta has already made the big expedition to Louisiana, where she is covering an angle no one else seems to have thought of -- the missing white women of New Orleans. There must be some of those anyway, and if there are, we're certain Greta will not find hem as surely as she has not found Natalie Holloway.

Look behind you, Greta! Someone's taking a white woman away!

And finally, we must admit that apart from his doomed attempt to make blogs useful to someone other than charity executives, InstaPunk is still incommunicado. We did receive this photo via email yesterday, but it might as easily be one of the Bush twins touring the scene as InstaPunk.

It COULD be InstaPunk, we suppose.

Until he returns, we will keep on being our callow, unhelpful selves.

UPDATE. Gosh, Michelle Malkin was up early. The blame game has a way of causing insomnia for the guilty and the innocent. Something about that bad taste in the mouth.

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